For What It's Worth.....

Look Ma, It’s Chocolate….

2012-02-05T21:29:00.000-08:00

It was just another bright sunny day when we drove along the Bandung’s roads. Ah, the sweetness of living in tropical country. Despite endlessly putting up with sweat and swear – sweat from hot weather and swears toward inept drivers passing by - we always enjoyed our little adventurous trip in this crowded town.

Our humble car entered a car park as He needed to buy something at the shops nearby. The car park was full and the only space available was near the garbage heap. So we pulled over there. If that was the only choice that we had, so be it. He got out of the car while I decided to wait inside.

My eyes looked around the place and suddenly caught a glimpse of two fellows, a woman and a little girl about six years old who was presumably her child. The mother carried a big sack hanging over her shoulder down to her back. Looking from some bottle shapes protruding from the surface, the sack must’ve contained some unused plastic bottles or containers to be recycled. Her child was roaming near her, picking up here and there some plastic bottles from the garbage heap. They are pemulung. When people dismiss doing complicated stuff like sorting garbage to recyclable and non-recyclable bins (seriously, how complicated is that?), they are there to lessen the problem.

My eyes glued on the little girl that at that moment was wandering right in front of the car. She picked up a plastic cup that still contained some liquid, looking like ice cream that was half melted, probably was newly thrown to the garbage heap. And my heart suddenly jumped when she scooped the left over in that cup with plastic spoon in it, and shoved it into her little mouth.

I opened the car door and made a step toward her, but another thought stopped me. I came back inside the car and instantly searched for available food. Fortunately when taking the kids outside we always equipped ourselves with food inside the car. So I grabbed a big chunk of chocolate stuffed bread and walked outside.

I moved toward the little girl. “Hi” I smiled at her. She looked back at me. The eyes were innocent and bright. She was beautiful, despite the messy hair and shabby clothes she was wearing. I lowered myself so my eyes were level with hers “Are you hungry?” What a stupid question. She just looked at me shyly while still holding the plastic cup of melted ice cream in her hand. I handed her the bread “Here, this is for you”. She looked hesitantly at the bread, then her eyes searched for her mother who stood at a close proximity from us. After getting an approval nod from her mother, she smiled and happily took the bread from my hand and said thank you. I could see that despite her hunger, her mother had taught her some manner fairly well.

She walked up to her mother and from the gesture I saw that she was offering her mother the bread. The mother shook her head. She opened the plastic wrap, ripped the bread apart with her hands and I vaguely heard her little voice saying “Look Ma, it’s chocolate…”, and with some mouthful bites she ate the bread. I suddenly felt a lump forming in my throat.

That little girl and her mother are not beggars. They are pemulung who collect inorganic garbage to be recycled. As despised as they might be, they share contribution to save the environment, as a balance to people who live a "modern" lifestyle that leaves sizeable ecological footprint on earth. They are unsung heroes to the environment. Yet they are filthy, and they are hungry.

In The Beginning Of The Year

2012-01-24T19:07:00.000-08:00

January is almost over and I haven’t written anything on this blog since the beginning of this brand new year. Lazy me. Well, what can I say, some had predicted that the world is gonna end this year, anyway ;-) . But since I still have so many plans for my life, most of which extend to the years after 2012, let me put some spoiler here about what I have done this month, and hopefully I still can do after 2012:

Kawah Putih in Ciwidey, Southwest of Bandung. Looks like a white sandy beach but don’t be fooled. It’s a crater on top of Mount Patuha. The colour of the lake is said to regularly change from bluish to whitish green depends on the concentration of sulfur and the temperature. If it hadn’t been for the sulfuric air and chilly temperature, we could’ve spent hours on this place.

Kolam Renang Air Panas Walini in Ciwidey. The water comes from natural hot spring. It’s energizing, it’s refreshing, and the green scenery from tea plantation surrounding it is breathtaking. And most importantly, the kids love swimming in there.

Strawberries. In Ciwidey we can visit strawberry plantation, pick and pluck ourselves some strawberries. Unlike the common strawberries found in supermarket, the taste of these fresh from the garden and fully ripe strawberries is as sweet as the look.

Sate Maranggi in Purwakarta. This sate or satay is a specific food from Purwakarta and has a specific taste. It is distinguished from other satays due to the unique flavor that is combination of sweet, sour and spicy. The seasoning of Sate Maranggi is made from soy sauce, green chili, and vinegar made from sugar cane. Yummy.

Es Kopyor. The drink is made from specific variety of coconut called kelapa kopyor. It's tastier than the regular coconut and the texture of coconut meat is soft and fluffy. This rare variety of coconut can only be bred through plant tissue culture technique, not by regular propagation. And the one that I had above was very special because the kopyor was directly plucked from the trees in the kopyor plantation that we visited and served on the site.

Now, how can I not hope that the world is gonna make it through 2012? :) May God bless this year and years and years to come.

Girls Day Out

2011-12-27T19:50:00.000-08:00

Last weekend, a week before Christmas I went out of town with the girls, the female gang in the office :) . We were sort of celebrating in advance Mother’s Day that falls on 22nd of December. Wait at home, kids, mommy want to have fun – sort of thing.

We headed to Purwakarta on a tourist bus. It’s probably a bit of waste that there were only about twenty of us and we rented a bus, an air conditioned bus with karaoke. But hey, you can’t blame girls for wanting to have a good time, can you? We shared jokes and juicy gossips (of course, what else do you expect?), and sang some out of tone songs from the karaoke along the way. Never mind the driver who was probably suffering from this chaos.I admired his undivided concentration at driving with all this cacophony around him. But had that bus had an accident, I knew who he would’ve put the blame on.

The first place we visited was a fertilizer factory belonging to a company where our former boss becomes the CEO there. She is a tough and hardworking lady, and a good host apparently. After some small talks like, “Aww.. you look good in that outfit” or this one that never fails to make a girl happy, "Wow, you're getting slimmer. The green tea, is it?", we were served some delicious meal and of course, the ever red, ever tempting Rambutan, which is the specific fruit in this area.

After stuffing our stomach and sent the rest of the food to our bags (oh, shame on you! Next time bring a larger bag!), we had a factory tour to see how fertilizer is made. The employees in the factory turned to be mostly women. The accounting and administration works, the laboratorium works, the quality control, mostly done by female employees. Wow, it’s not a coincidence that we chose to visit this place in the spirit of mother’s day.

Leaving the factory, we visited Kaum, which is the central of simping production, a specific food from Purwakarta. It is a crunchy, delicious snack made from rice flour with coconut milk and traditional seasoning. I bought a bunch of them as it is our family’s favourite. Mmm.. yummy.

Photo: Cahaya kaum

And as we women commonly love home decoration, we certainly didn’t miss Plered, the central of ceramic pottery production where you can buy these beautiful works of art at relatively low price:

Photo: Purwakartakab

Photo: Nurzaman

After spending too much time in those ceramic galleries, some of the girls needed to be desperately dragged into the bus as they couldn't stop picking and buying stuff. They finally surrendered after being reminded that they needed a wagon to carry all the potteries they'd bought.

At about 6 pm we headed back to Bandung. We continued the curhat (pouring your heart out) about work and some female thingy along the way back. I told you, going out with the girls is fun, though you have to be a little bit patient as they love talking more than listening :) .

Miss F, who positioned herself as the guide of the trip put all the effort to entertain us with her miraculous voice as she sang the karaoke with no avail. Although she tried to convince us that she was only "improvising" anytime she sang in false tone, we couldn't buy it because this "improvisation" went right from the beginning to the end of every song. The only song she could sing in almost the right rhythm and tone was Alamat Palsu from Ayu Tingting, a dangdut singer that recently becomes famous for no apparent reason. I just wished the driver wouldn't decide to jump out of the window out of desperation.

Having had struggled with the traffic jam, we reached Bandung at about 8 pm. While I was thinking where to hail a taxi, a text message came from husband, ”Where are you? Need a lift?” Ah, that’s my man. I had been forgetting him all the day yet he was there when I needed him the most :)

Walking Our Path of Life

2011-12-07T18:25:00.001-08:00

Akhir-akhir ini saya banyak merenung. Bukan, bukan merenungi nasib atau merenungi pejabat negeri ini yang suka korupsi (nggak, lah, ngapain mikirin mereka, mereka juga nggak mikirin saya, hehe..). Tapi yang saya renungkan : sudah cukupkah selama ini saya bersyukur?

Bersyukur adalah tindakan sederhana yang sering sekali saya lupakan. Padahal kita ini termasuk orang-orang yang beruntung. Ya, saya kategorikan orang-orang seperti saya dan anda yang masih punya akses internet ini beruntung. Meskipun jika akses internet ini anda peroleh lewat warnet, komputer di kantor, atau minjem BBnya temen sebelah, hehe... Yang buka internet di warnet beruntung karena masih punya waktu untuk pergi ke warnet, yang buka internet di kantor beruntung karena berarti dia punya pekerjaan di tempat yang lumayan karena bisa menyediakan akses internet bagi karyawannya, dan yang buka internet lewat BB pinjeman termasuk yang sangat beruntung karena mau-maunya teman anda itu meminjamkan BBnya pada anda, hehe…

Okeh, bek tude topik (back to the topic, maksudnya), kadang kita menganggap bahwa orang yang beruntung hanyalah orang-orang yang diberi kecukupan materi. Tapi ya nggak salah juga sih, lah wong kita dididik oleh media untuk mengagungkan materi. Lihat saja di sinetron-sinetron, yang dikategorikan sebagai “happy ending” itu ialah kalau harta yang diperebutkan akhirnya kembali ke tangan si pemeran utama, atau anak yang tertukar akhirnya kembali ke pangkuan keluarganya yang kaya raya. Saya memang kadang-kadang nonton sinetron, tapi hanya sebagai pengamat, bukan sebagai penikmat (semacam nggak ngaku, hehe….)

Pernah suatu hari saya lagi makan siang di (tuut! Sensor, nanti dikira promosi). Disebelah saya ada keluarga kecil terdiri dari bapak, ibu dan dua anaknya yang seumuran anak saya yang SD. Saya menguping percakapan mereka, eh, bukan menguping, deng, lah wong mereka ngomongnya kuenceng banget! Percakapannya kurang lebih seperti ini: “Nak, kamu harus rajin belajar. Nanti Papah kasih hadiah, deh. Kamu pengen apa?” Anaknya menjawab, “Pingin mobil baru, Pah”. “Mobil baru? Okeh, nanti papah beli mobil (tuut! sensor lagi) yang ada iklannya di tivi itu, asal nilai kamu bagus. Pengen warna apa?” “Kuning, kuning, Pah!”, jawab sang anak dengan ceria. Saya jadi senyum-senyum sendiri. Kalau anak SD saja sudah diiming-imingi mobil supaya rajin belajar, nanti kalau sudah kuliah diiming-imingi apa, ya? Pesawat terbang?

Tapi serius, disamping ada orang – orang yang “beruntung” seperti bapak di atas tadi, banyak sekali orang-orang yang “kurang beruntung” yang boro-boro mikirin beli mobil baru atau ikutan ngantri beli BB sampai pingsan, lah wong besok masih bisa makan atau nggak juga Wallahualam. Tapi apakah mereka bahagia? Sangat mungkin. Mungkin justru dengan segala kesederhanaan dan pikiran yang lebih terfokus hanya untuk bertahan hidup, mereka tidak dipusingkan dengan terlalu banyak hal, atau kata bahasa fesbuknya “it’s complicated”, hehe…..

Waktu kuliah tingkat satu dulu saya sering pulang ke tempat kos-kosan saya mengambil jalan pintas lewat gang yang sempit dan becek, ngga ada ojeg, dimana para penghuninya, ditengah-tengah kebersahajaan mereka setiap sore masih bisa ngerumpi di teras rumah dan tertawa tergelak-gelak. Sekarang saya mikir, bos-bos saya ini pada jam-jam segitu biasanya lagi galau-galaunya karena ditegur atasan atau target pekerjaan yang tidak tercapai. Jadi, lebih bahagia siapa, ya? Atau orang-orang yang tinggal di daerah terpencil sana. Mereka mungkin lebih bahagia dari kita karena nggak pernah pusing-pusing mikirin anaknya mau sekolah dimana, atau mau bimbel dimana, lah wong di seantero kampung aplak-aplakan itu sekolah cuma ada satu.

Eniwei (nah, kalau yang ini maksudnya anyway), jalan hidup setiap manusia itu tidak sama, dan setiap manusia punya masalah masing-masing. Ada yang punya harta, punya keluarga bahagia, tapi anggota keluarganya didera penyakit. Ada yang punya keluarga bahagia, anak2nya sehat2, tapi buat makan sehari-hari saja susah. Ada yang punya harta melimpah, suami ganteng, tapi dikejar-kejar KPK karena korupsi (walaupun rasanya kok nggak pernah ya, lihat koruptor ganteng). Ada yang punya anak pinter-pinter, harta cukup, tapi suaminya selingkuh (beuh, ini kayaknya cobaan paling berat!).

Tapi apakah kekurangan itu menjadi alasan untuk tidak bersyukur? Tentu tidak. Karena untuk setiap kekurangan yang kita sesali, mungkin ada seribu hal indah yang terlewat untuk kita sadari dan syukuri. Kesehatan kita, misalnya. Keluarga yang selalu mendoakan ketika kita kesusahan, atau rumah yang tidak kebanjiran. Kalau setiap orang Indonesia pandai bersyukur mungkin sedikit-demi sedikit akan terkikis sifat greedy yang sering mengarah pada tindakan seperti suap atau korupsi (halah, tadi katanya nggak mau mikirin koruptor, ternyata kepikiran juga).

Setiap orang punya jalan hidup masing-masing yang mungkin berbeda dari gaya hidup “ideal” menurut orang lain, sekarang tinggal keberanian kita untuk menyatakan bahwa: Ini adalah jalan hidup saya. Mungkin berbeda dari gaya hidup orang kebanyakan. Mungkin tidak sesuai dengan yang pernah kita bayangkan. Mungkin juga tidak sempurna di mata manusia lain. Tapi inilah jalan saya, dan saya berusaha melakukan yang terbaik untuk menjalaninya. Tidak ada manusia dengan kehidupan yang sempurna, yang penting adalah how to make the most out of things we have been granted.

Jadi apa definisi orang yang beruntung? Orang yang beruntung menurut saya adalah orang yang masih bisa melihat hal-hal indah di sekitar, dan menjalani hidup dengan penuh optimisme dan rasa syukur. Sehingga walaupun dijalani dengan jatuh bangun, mereka dengan bangga bisa berkata (sedikit ngutip Mbak Syahrini): Alhamdulillah ya… hidup saya itu sesuatu banget….

If You Are Poor, And You Live in Indonesia, You’d Better be Healthy.

2011-11-22T17:07:00.000-08:00

Because being sick will suck you dry, not only physically, but mostly financially. In private hospital, one (brief) examination from specialist doctors costs about Rp 100.000 - Rp 200.000, equal with 2 to 4 times the minimum regional salary per day. Medicine is not included. The fare of hospital's rooms if you have to be hospitalized is about Rp 200.000 per day for class II (the average class). Not to mention the major treatments like CT Scan, dialysis, chemotherapy, that will surely cost you a fortune. It seems that hospital is designed to make people - who have just recovered - suffer from another sickness once they read the amount printed on the receipt. Or getting a heart attack.

Since our government is very kind and understanding, they provide a healthcare scheme, the Jamkesmas (Jaminan Kesehatan Masyarakat), which is a state subsidized healthcare. The poor can get access to health facility for free, but only if they can stand the long and complicated administrative process required before they can get some treatment. And this administrative process is often more painful and depressing than the feelings of pain that the illness itself brings.

When the holders of Jamkesmas cards (which so far only cover about half of all the eligible poor people) are sick and need treatment from hospital, they have to bring administrative requirements such as fotocopy of KTP (identity card), family card, jamkesmas card that has been verified by health department, and referral letter from Puskesmas (community health center). So these people are sick and desperately need treatment, yet they have to prepare all the administrative requirement as if they prepare for a job interview - minus the formal dress and high heels.

When they have completed all the documents required, that doesn’t mean they can go straight to the hospital room and get treatment they deserve. Not without having to shove themselves through an amazing queue (the picture above will give you the idea). Patients have to be patient to wait for hours - even days – before they can see the doctor. And if they have to be hospitalized, the wait goes on longer since the facility and rooms for jamkesmas holders are very limited (they can only occupy the class III rooms in state-run hospitals). In case the patients need major treatment like surgery, they have to wait for months. Assuming the patients are still alive.

To make it worse, there is even the so called “calo” or intermediary person who “help” the patients taking care of administrative process and getting queue number by receiving payment from the patients. It is suspected that there is a syndication between calo and administrative officials in hospitals, taking advantage of the naivety of these less fortunate patients. Can you believe that? I know there is calo that helps people buying movie tickets or football tickets by paying higher price than the average, but since these people are going to have fun, spending extra money would probably not be really a burden. But calo in hospital? Last I remember people don’t go to hospital for having fun.

Since the Jamkesmas holders go to hospital for free, to expect that they will not get inferior treatment from the hospital will be far too optimistic. Unless there is law that regulates a better mechanism, hospital as a business entity will give much better treatment to regular patients who pay them in cash than the jamkesmas holders whose payment can only be claimed later. There are too many occasions where some hospitals delay medical treatment under the excuse of waiting for the patient to complete administrative requirements, or in some cases even refuse to treat the patients completely, ask the patients to go home and come back later after the administration is completed. What happen to the doctor’s oath which should also be the hospital’s oath? I will not permit considerations of age, disease or disability, creed, ethnic origin, gender, nationality, political affiliation, race, sexual orientation, social standing or any other factor to intervene between my duty and my patient; Yup, other than cancer and HIV, social standing could be number one killer.

So if you’re poor, and you live in Indonesia, you have no right to be sick. Make sure you always consume healthy food, do regular exercise and maintain healthy lifestyle. Don’t tell me that I never warn you.

Photo from : Pikiran Rakyat

You Are an Awesome Dad When….

2011-11-12T17:44:00.000-08:00

You wake up in the morning, and as if suddenly hit by epiphany you check the pencil boxes of your daughters and find all the pencils are blunt. You grumble about how careless they are, yet you sharpen their pencils one by one.

You pick up the children from school in late afternoon only to find out that your daughters have an extra class so you have to wait for another hour on your motor bike, despite the heavy rain.

You spend the weekends to play football in the backyard with your daughters and enjoy that world cup champion's glorious feeling when you can beat them on the game.

You let yourself be an experimental mannequin when your daughters try a new hairstyle by putting a ribbon in your hair or other ridiculous ideas coming across their little heads.

You help your kids with their homework, but when it comes to the question that you don’t have a clue about, you say “It’s your mother’s turn. Daddy needs a coffee”

You, behind your wife’s back, buy your daughters MSG or high sugar contained food and help them finish the food before mommy find out.

Pink suddenly becomes the colour of your choice when you buy things (now that’s scary!)

You are freaked out to hear that your daughter has her first “admirer” and shrieks “No, she can’t have a boyfriend yet!”. Easy darling, she is just ten. There is no way the boy is gonna propose her to marry him tomorrow.

Happy father’s day! (Nov 12th)

When You Speak Angels Sing From Above

2011-11-08T19:51:00.000-08:00

I don’t know about other parents, but in my case, having kids has been downgrading my taste in music, films and books to my kids’ level in order to keep up with them. In music, for example, I have thrown away the Jazz and Soul collection (which I never have, anyway), and listened instead to Indonesian boy bands and girl bands (the torture, oh, the torture).

One thing that caught my interest from these boy bands and girl bands is the lyrics of their songs which are often a mix of Indonesian and English. Like this song from the group “Smash” that says “Mengapa hatiku cenat-cenut….” followed by the refrain “I know you so well.. girl I need you…” Oh, come on! Cenat-cenut is not even in Indonesian dictionary, and for the refrain of the song they use English. You totally confuse me, young men!

And this Girl Band “Cherry Belle” that sings the lyrics “You are beautiful, beautiful, beautiful….”, Followed straightly by “Kamu cantik, cantik,..…..” which also means you are beautiful. As if the three times repetition of the word beautiful is not enough, the sentence is followed by the translation in Indonesian. Don’t you think it’s totally redundant? :)

Because currently they are the (God forbid) role models for Indonesian young generations, I think it’s much better if they sing a song with the lyrics fully written in Indonesian or in English, instead of a confusing mix and match of two or more languages.

As if that's not enough, Indonesian young people are also influenced by alay language (the colloquial language usually used in SMS, or social network like Twitter), such as the words unyu, we cebel, cemungudh, oh, Lord, give mercy!

And my mind is drifting to my own kids and how they develop their speaking ability.

My kids are in the period when they are developing their basic language skill. And they are under the (un)fortunate circumstance to learn three languages at a time: Indonesian, English and Sundanese. That’s the languages they learn at schools, and consequently become the language I have to speak with them at home interchangeably. Beside the compulsory Indonesian and English, Sundanese is our regional language that we also want them to speak and preserve. Because if we don’t preserve them, who will? (I know, it sounds like an ad on TV)

It’s a funny (yet sad) moment when my children mix Bahasa Indonesia, Sundanese and English words in the same sentence because they cannot find the right words, or when my oldest said “mammoth” (that big, giant elephant), while she actually meant “nyamuk” (mosquito), or when my youngest absorbed some new words, and after we explained the meaning she applied the words to us by calling me “majikan” (boss), and calling her dad “manager”. That makes me think, gosh, are we that awful in front of her? :)

Back in the old days, there were moments when I had sheepish grins for their innocent talks. Like one day when we bumped into a man while walking on the street and my three years old (then) daughter pointed and said “wow, he is ugly” right on the face of the person, which made me embarrassedly apologize and drag her away from the man. In another occasion when we were in a queue at a public office, she pointed at a man and told me “Mom, look, that man is bald”. Luckily the man didn’t hear (or pretended not to hear). And how can I forget what happened when I was invited to a friend's wedding. My daughter said loudly in front of someone with dwarfism "Mom, why is that man so short? Is that because he doesn't want to eat?"

I never push my children to speak in English, although I am glad when they start using it in their conversation. I believe they need to develop their skill and learn to make good sentences in Indonesian before jumping into English, otherwise they will speak equally broken Indonesian and English. But they usually use English when trying to get what they want, like, “Mom, can we go to the park?”, or “Mom, can you buy me that toy?”. And when I approved their request, they instantly switched their sentences back to Bahasa Indonesia. Aren’t they smart.

Some characters that also have influence on my kids’ language are the magnificent Dora the Explorer and Spongebob Squarepants. Sometimes my kids did the trick of “opposite day” a la Spongebob’s, when I had to wonder whether they really meant what they were saying, or they actually meant the opposite. Like when they just blurted out “You are a bad mom”, but when I started to give them a disturbed look, they instantly said “Remember, today is the opposite day, mom” and gave me a big smile. Of course that’s a very fishy one.

Obviously I’ve been rambling. But back to the earlier point, I understand how Indonesian kids are now more exposed to globalization, hence more variation in languages. And when it comes to taste and freedom of expression, who am I to argue? But still I think it’s better if Indonesian singers sing songs with lyrics fully written in Bahasa Indonesia or in English, or even in regional languages. Just a thought.

Photo Credit : Children's Talking Dictionary

That's Our Minister

2011-11-03T17:07:00.000-07:00

From behind the wheel with smile

Apart from regular rants and un-constructive criticisms, I rarely write something nice about my country. But this time, let me, in this moment of tranquility combined with good mood, write something positive and give credit when credit due.

I work for a state enterprise, BUMN (I guess that explains where my regular bitching about government come from). And I am glad that during my working period when everything was wrong, something finally went right : our president appointed this gentleman as the Minister of State Enterprise : Dahlan Iskan, the former journalist and PLN’s CEO.

There has been a lot of coverage about the good performance of this full of initiatives man, so I don’t think I need to elaborate on that part. But I am more interested in his humble, simple, easy going attitude, even though I never know him in person, mostly only from his writings in the daily Jawa Pos, that are compiled in this blog.

And from The Jakarta Globe, in one interview he said:“What I want to do first is reduce ministerial intervention on state enterprises to give more freedom and authority to the CEOs to carry out corporate actions,” he said.And from The Jakarta Post:“In the next three months, the traffic of letters must be reduced by 50 percent, the number of reports that the ministry asks state firms for must also be reduced by 50 percent and meetings must be reduced by 50 percent,”

Thank God! This is something that we long for. If this is true, there will be no more long bureaucracy where we have to send letters by letters to the Ministry (imagine how many trees have to be cut and forests have to be cleared, not to mention the pollutants excreted by the pulp and paper factories), and ask an approval from the Minister to do trivial things, like buying a lollypop or going to toilet (kidding). If corporate culture is what he puts on top of priority list to change in state enterprises, I think he made a right decision.

During his period as PLN’s CEO, he refused the state facilities and chose to live in his own home and use his own car. And after he was appointed as a minister, when asked whether he would refuse a ministerial car, housing, special assistants and bodyguards, he said : “As a journalist, you’ve got to be down to earth and I don’t want to lose my sensitivity for others — especially the less represented and underprivileged.”

Hail the new minister! I totally agree with him. How can someone build his empathy toward the poor and the hungry from the convenience of air conditioned luxurious car driven by well suited driver and a luxurious house full with assistants and bodyguards who are ready to serve and protect? It would only be like watching a sinetron performing live in front of you.

With all that's said, the pessimistic in me still say that we can't pin too much hope on Dahlan Iskan alone to improve the performance of state enterprises. If the wall of bureaucracy is just too sturdy to break down, or the old system is too stubborn to give in, who is he to solely change the world? But there is nothing wrong with having something to hope for, isn’t it?

Finally, this post is not meant to curry favor with the new minister. I don’t know him, he doesn’t know me, and the probability of President Yudhoyono joining Indonesian Idol is higher than of the minister reading this blog. This is a genuine appreciation from one member of his rank and file, even though from now on I am sure we have to work harder to meet the new challenges the minister brings, as his motto (which now becomes the motto of PLN) is: “work! work! work!”

As If Life Is Not a Day-to-Day Assessment Already

2011-10-12T20:04:00.000-07:00

I have an assessment coming. It’s an IQ - psychological - managerialtest conducted for all the middle and upper level employees in the company. It’sbewildering to see how people, including the company that I work for, are soobsessed with artificial assessments. Yes, I call it artificial because youwill spend two days out of your entire life to be assessed by the assessors to examineyour skill in math, language, leadership, managerial, and God knows what else.Two days. Just like those high school students whose graduation is only determined by threedays National Exam, overlooking all the three years efforts they spend inschooling. That’s ridiculous.

I understand that this test is conducted as employee’smapping. To put the right person on the right place based on their competence.But we already have an evaluation based on the Balanced Scorecard (BSC) system that,if conducted properly, is a sufficient tool to assess our performance on monthly oryearly basis. Besides, as the entrance test when we first entered the company,we did a thorough IQ, physical and psychological test. Now why do they thinkthey need to test us again? Afraid if we might have psychologically changed? Ohthis is funny. Psychologically changed. Like we turn to be psychopath orsomething.

Other than this regular assessment for all employees, foreach employee who has a prospect of getting a promotion, any step of promotionin their career ladder, there is also a managerial training for a monthconducted out of town, then followed by an assessment. It’s like saying “Okay,you might enjoy that promotion but prior to that, you have to suffer a month inhell”. What a waste of time, money and energy. No wonder Indonesian companiesare ranked so low in efficiency.

I am not entirely against this kind of assessment, in fact,I am thankful that these tests can keep my brain stimulated (can they?). But the school-kids-likeassessment is probably not my cup of tea. How can you actually put score on someone’smanagerial skill based on only some group discussions? By giving higher scoreto people who talk more, even if that people most likely only master the art of saving face and kissing a*s? I think the budget and energy toorganize that assessment would be more useful to be spent for some real-life assessmentby giving people responsibility to conduct some new projects and solve the day-to-dayproblems. I thought all kind of artificial tests were over when I graduated fromUni. Apparently life won't make it too easy for me :) .

And to be honest, my main objection is actually that in thatassessment we are going to be required to write a paper for about 5 pages. Byhand. That’s right, the paper is written by hand, then it is followed by apresentation. It sends butterfly in my stomach for sure. Having been pampered by technology, I don’t know if I am stillable to write by hand. I mean, in readable way.

And here I am, still thinking (and ranting) about that assessment.What do I have to do to prepare now? Reading some managerial books? Nah,boring. Reading some technical books? No, it won’t be there in the exam. Readingbooks about IQ test? Meh, my IQ is okay to do simple additions, subtractions,and a little bit of differential and integral calculus. Practicing my hand writing? Maybe.Having enough sleep? Definitely. :)

Function, Not Fashion

2011-09-12T02:46:00.000-07:00

My husband has been persuading me to buy a new handphone. He said that a young professional like me needs a better phone than what I am currently using (of course, he put that annoying teasing tone when pronouncing both “young” and “professional” parts, well, never mind). And I just shrugged my shoulder as a response to it. I don’t know why I need a new phone while the phone in my hand is now working perfectly for texting, telephoning and a little bit of internet to check the e-mails. That’s a handphone is all about, isn’t it?

He insisted on taking me to BEC (the biggest electronic centre in Bandung) and offering extra cash from his saving if the price of my future phone exceeds my budget. For information, the handphone I am currently using was a handphone my husband initially bought for himself about a year ago, but he gave it to me right after he opened the package, because he realized that I needed that phone more than he did. He is sweet. Most of the time, anyway.

What he doesn’t know is that I am not interested in buying a new phone because I am in love with this device from Amazon: Kindle 3. All ebook lovers must have been familiar with this device. It’s not quite a fancy gadget like the infamous blackberry or ipad, but this humble black and white device that its function is purely for reading and buying ebooks online is so apt for me!

I have been dreaming of having this gadget, but because in its early years of production the price was still high and Amazon didn’t sell kindle to Indonesia, particularly the early generations of it, I had to hold my breath. That’s a disadvantage of living in a country where reading is not considered as a general habit, or culture, if you like. Till recently I browsed through eBay and found that the price of this gadget has reduced dramatically and some sellers can ship it to Indonesia. Oh, I sooo deserve this gadget, don’t I? don’t I?

But there came the second problem, I have no paypal account, therefore cannot do internet transaction, unless I ask help from my best friend D who has one. When I asked him whether I can use his paypal account to buy this gadget, he raised his eyebrows and said something along the lines of ”What? Are you gonna buy that reader gadget? It’s so old-fashioned. You can ruin my reputation on e-Bay if using my account to buy that stuff” (jokingly, of course) and start lecturing that I better buy a sophisticated iPad or other tablet. Oh my, being surrounded by these gadget lovers makes my life seem so miserable.

But with patience and endurance only a sales person of Amazon could possibly posses, I explained that kindle is not comparable to ipad as they both carry different purposes. Kindle is a device specifically designed for reading. It’s light, and and it’s eye friendly because the screen uses e-ink instead of LCD. I know that when I use this device in front of others, chances are, they will think that I cannot afford an ipad hence buy a cheaper version of it (which is true, actually). But why the hell should I care what other people think about it? I don’t see the advantage of reading an e-book in angkot (public transport), for example, through a tablet that can be used to smack a copet (pickpocket) because of its weight. I buy stuffs because of their function, not just for fashion! Well, most of the time, anyway.

And after he browsed through internet himself, he finally agreed that buying kindle 3 at this time seems to be a right choice as kindle is about to release the tablet version, most possibly with LCD screen, so the black and white e-ink screen could be the latest version around. In a year from now I probably have to find it in museum if I want to buy one. Ha..ha.. I am sure that’s not what Amazon intended to do with kindle. But the important thing is he agreed that I can use his paypal account, and offered to handle the transaction himself till the device safely comes to his house. All I have to do is pay, wait and pray :)

So now I am impatiently waiting for my kindle to arrive. I know I have to anticipate a line or two comments muttered by my husband that I could’ve bought a more "sophisticated" gadget with the same budget, and again, I have to demonstrate what the sales person of Amazon does. But the bottom line is, sweetheart, you know that I've always been more of a kindle type than a blackberry type of girl. If you know what I mean. :)

Happy Birthday to The Old Lady

2011-08-15T00:49:00.000-07:00

Indonesia is celebrating her 66th birthday on the coming 17th August. While she is supposed to be wiser and wealthier as she gets older, this country is suffering from serious diseases. Our beloved old lady is sick. The people of this country, or the cells that make up the flesh and muscles of her body, are aching.

And if I were a doctor to examine her, I would probably come up with this diagnosis:

The central government, or the brain that control the organs of her body, suffers from Alzheimer. They have a severe memory loss, forgetting that the main purpose of their job is to serve the country, the people. Instead, they make the best out of their position to rich themselves. Greed takes over. Systemic corruption is getting prevalent.

The local government, or the heart that circulates blood to all cells in the body, suffers from coronary heart disease. It can no longer circulate blood fairly because of too many plaques hardening and narrowing the coronary arteries. More wealth is concentrated in some areas and some people, while the less fortunate ones only get less and less.

The judicial system, or the kidney that excretes waste and toxin from blood, suffers from kidney failure. It can no longer filter the bad from the good. In fact, the bad is continued to be circulated while the good goes to urination. Corruption and bribery go hand in hand. The court system is only for the poor who has no resource to bribe, while the wealthy criminals remain untouchable.

The education, or the bone that support the body, suffers from Osteoporosis. It can no longer support this country’s obesitized body. Education is there for people with money, by bribing all along the way from kindergarten to university. All these pampered kids have to do is laying their butts on the classroom’s chairs, do the exam if they can, or just wait for the answer from systemic cheating organized by the teacher for the sake of the school’s prestige.

The media, or the eyes of this country, suffer from Cataract. Political interests drive the media to air things for special purposes only. Certain corruptors being displayed over and over, while some others who are actually much dangerous crooks remain hidden. It’s laughable, considering that most corruption cases are systemic and almost impossible to be done by single person.

As a response, some of the cells of her body turn to be malicious cancer. Some manifest in a form of rampant corruptions and bribery, some others in a form of radical Islamism, terrorism, killing of the so called religious deviants, etc. Scary.

These diseases are most possibly caused by unhealthy lifestyle, too much delicious intake and lack of exercise. Excessive external debt and the abundance of natural resources are pampering this country. Not too mention the endless development of malls, and endless luxurious imported products flooding Indonesian market on daily basis.

And this lady is lack of exercise. She rarely shakes her butts (unless there was an earthquake). She is too lazy to uphold the law and justice. Too lazy to take care of the poor and homeless children. Too lazy to protect the local products and small industries. Too lazy to conserve the environment. Too lazy to learn about technology. Although it doesn’t need a rocket science to process raw material to be end products, she’d rather exporting the raw materials which creates small added value, while she could've done much better.

Can she be healed? I hope so, though I don’t know where to begin. Maybe by improving the education? Let students pursue the true learning by doing projects that have distributions to other people’s life, and let them be satisfied and proud of doing it. If necessary, in-class examination and entrance tests should be abolished, because they incite cheating and bribery anyway.

Or by improving the media? Put more television programs about knowledge, science, discoveries, and less programs about corruption and infotainment. Less displays of pseudo wealth and luxury through sinetrons, and more shows about reality.

Or improving the judicial system? Since nobody can no longer be trusted and it’s hard to change an already established “culture” in judicial system, could it be possible that the judicial system is changed to computerization? More criminal detector devices, and more robocops, please.

But one thing that I know for sure is I love this old lady as much as I love my late grandma. And although she’s currently not in her best condition, and this bitter rambling probably just infuriates her on so many levels, let me truly, sincerely say: Happy birthday, Nana. Get your kicks on Route 66 :) May happiness, fairness, and righteousness be with you in years and years to come.

Some Fasting Months to Remember

2011-08-09T00:14:00.000-07:00

Lately, I often dreamed of my late grandma and grandpa. I know, maybe because I am too carried away by the sentimentality of fasting month when I spent a lot of memorable moments with my grandparents back in my younger years. Since my parents got divorced, I and my sister had been staying with my grandparents and were granted a privilege only grandchildren can receive from grandparents. Like being allowed to miss school only for some trivial reasons, or being rushed to a doctor only because I accidentally swallowed a candy, or in my teens, I was being awaited outside by grandpa during a night party because he was overtly worried. The wide generation gap between me and my grandparents did not only create mis-communication, but somehow it turned to be bliss because there were things easier for me to keep for my-naughty-self without having to let them know.

And fasting month just takes me further down the memory lane. The typical days of fasting month in my family were usually started with grandpa waking up before dawn to warm up the meal for sahur. After everything was served on the table, he would wake us up. He was also responsible for doing the dishes, although grandma often complained because the outcome didn’t meet her standard of cleanliness, and all the dishes had to be re-washed.

Grandma loved to cook, a trait that unfortunately didn’t pass to me genetically, or maybe I just ignore deliberately. Fasting month was the time for her practicing some new recipes. Since I was fasting, all I could do was peeking into the kitchen and sniffed at the smell of food. And, oh, she was a book worm too, despite of her not-so-high education. Ngabuburit (waiting for breaking fast in the afternoon) was always passed by her reading some books, magazines, or newspapers. The contagious habit that spread to me and my sister. We even had a man that came to our house regularly, bringing some story books and comics to rent, like Tintin, Asterix, some books from Enid Blyton, H.C Andersen, etc.

When it comes to breaking fast, my grandpa was always the most excited one. Fifteen minutes prior to breaking fast, all meals were used to be served at the table. He used to sit with a big glass of fruit cocktail already served in front of him. And as soon as there was the sound of adzan as the sign for breaking fast, he hurriedly sipped and shoved everything in, sometimes followed by coughing and choking, that always sent me a giggle under the table.

And I can still feel the excitement I used to feel when it was time to go shalat tarawih to the mosque with friends, where I could catch a glimpse of a cute boy that I secretly had a crush on and inspired me to keep going to the mosque (there I made a confession). I remember that one night I was so disappointed when I had to go back home, almost crying, because I stepped on buffalo dung on a grass field halfway to the mosque. Ugh, gross!

Fasting month was also time to share. Every fasting month grandma would invite becak drivers in the area to our house (becak was the most used transportation in my area back then), and we would be busy packing some food like rice, butter, flour, sugar, to be given away to those becak drivers and their family for Eidul Fitr. Sometimes grandma also invited people from village to have pengajian (quran recital) in our house, then we would distribute some food for them to take home.

But since life is not a candy store, there were also some low moments when I felt losing my faith on my grandparents. Like when they had fight over some adult problems too complicated for my simple mind to unravel, and only when I became an adult myself I was able to make everything come to sense. But even until the last day of my grandpa’s life, my grandma always stayed faithfully beside him. As she always promised, she gave us an intact family my father and mother failed to construct.

Now that it’s been years after my grandparents passed away, I am no longer grieving, but still miss them terribly. Because fasting month and Eidul Fitr never feel the same without them. Through this post I want to give a tribute, for their unconditional love, and everything they did for me and my sister. May they rest in peace.

Photo credit : Zawaj

First Days of Ramadhan

2011-08-03T22:03:00.000-07:00

I spent the first two days of Ramadhan or fasting month in Puncak, Bogor. As always, duty called. It was hard to let my two little girls spend the first days of fasting without mom around. But they both understood, I did it for them too. Right, girls? :)

The first day of fasting did not feel too hard, although the weather in Puncak was not friendly at that moment. Dry and cold wind blew all day. At night, after having a fasting break with kolak, satay, capcay, soup, and orange juice (God, forgive me for being gluttony, please let the hotel management bear the sin for providing me irresistible temptation :) ), I spent time in my room working on reports, and texting with my children (and their father). How I missed my chubby girls, imagining how busy they were having a fasting break in the first day.

The second day was a little bit exhausting, especially because my condition was not quite fit after fighting the chill wind all night. Although the curtains in the room shut tight, the wind was still blowing in through the window, especially in the early morning approaching dawn. My stomach was a bit bloated and my head was dizzy. Fortunately, the agenda could go smoother and faster than planned. At 3 pm we were able to go back to Bandung and got home in time for fasting break. Ah, what a great joy to hug my little girls who never stopped chattering about their first days of fasting.

Later that night, I talked with my girls about fasting month. Ramadhan is supposed to be time for us to restrain greed and increase our care for the needy and the poor. Ironically, during Ramadhan people are prone to spend for themselves more than in the other months. The TV programs continuously display consumerism, the malls are waving to invite people to spend a fortune for foods and new clothes to be stocked up for Eidul Fitr, by displaying “discount” sign on their ads. Every afternoon close to dusk, streets are full packed with people who hunt food, creating an unbearable traffic jam that makes us want to scream and yell, yet another thing supposedly avoided during this holy month (and the other months to come).

It’s not easy to change this cultural habit, really, but that’s a challenge, can we go against the grain and put the true meaning of Ramadhan this month? My eldest nodded her head, maybe because she deferred to me on this. My youngest also nodded her head, but with eyelids closed, maybe because her head was too heavy for waking up early to have sahur.

Theme of the week : Entrepreneurship

2011-07-17T00:52:00.000-07:00

Last week has been a long week as I did some official trips out of town. Thanks to my boss who always gives me opportunities to “see the world outside”, an excuse that he uses when he needs someone to represent him in a meeting with external parties. :) Yeah, good on him. Although it wasn’t quite planned earlier, all my official trips turned out to be related to entrepreneurship and small enterprises.

I started the week by going to Jakarta to attend a meeting in Manggala building about entrepreneurship in forestry and agriculture related business. The department of forestry has a program to develop entrepreneurship skills of people who live in forest’s surrounding areas, by offering them business opportunities such as cultivating seeds for forest trees, developing ecoforestry tourism, or processing forest’s yields. Some companies that run their operations by occupying forestry area are urged to share their CSR funds for this program. Villagers interested to engage in forestry and agricultural related business can take advantage from the available company’s CSR funds organized by the department of forestry. That’s good. Something that they should’ve done long, long time ago.

On the following day, I did some works in a factory belonging to an enterprise engaged in the food and beverage industry, located in far eastern part of Bandung. I picked up some valuable information while I was there. Along with the increasing population, there is an increasing demand toward food and beverage, and people’s awareness toward healthy food and beverage. The CAGR for food and beverage during the last four years was 16.46%. That is another opportunity for people who want to start a new business. As long as nature takes its course and human’s body (or brain) can feel the hunger and the thirst, food and beverage industry will never die :)

And the day after, I attended a ceremonial panen perdana (first harvest) of grass cultivation in Purwakarta, West Java. Don’t imagine that the grass planted is just another kind of grass. It’s a big, giant grass from the species of King Grass (Pennisctum purpureum) that can reach 2 to 4 meters height and serve the purpose of cattle feed, along with its purpose of environmental conservation. It’s a fast moving investment because the grass can be harvested in every 2 months. In operation, the grass farmers can cooperate with cattle farms so that the cattle manure can, in turn, be applied to the field as organic fertilizers. Had we put serious effort in developing integrated farming between cattle and grass cultivation, maybe the last ban on imported cattle from Australia would’ve had only a little impact on Indonesian agriculture. Just sayin.

I escaped the week with enthusiasm. I felt the spirit of entrepreneurship in the air. Everybody is keen to run their own business. That’s a good sign. Nobody deserves to be poor and hungry, if they are just willing to strive for their life, here in their own backyard. And all the government has to do is giving financial support through soft credit scheme, facilitate on-the-spot technical counseling, and most importantly, cut down that damn bureaucracy thing!

The Frauds Among Us

2011-06-27T22:28:00.000-07:00

We’ve been thinking of selling the house and moving to somewhere closer to the workplace and the children’s school. Therefore, last week we tried our luck by putting a column advertisement on the most well known daily paper in West Java, with the hope that we can attract some prospective buyers of the house.

The ad was placed on the Saturday edition of the paper. We crossed our fingers and since early that day we’d been eagerly waiting for a call responding to it. The first response that we received in the morning was a text message, saying:

Hallo, I am Ms. Fitri, I read your ad on the paper, and your house suits my preference. Would you please contact my husband to do negotiation about the price? His name is Mr. Hendarto and he can be contacted at this number 08XXXXXX.

Okay, that message sounds fishy. How can people be interested in a house that they haven’t seen, let alone visited? And why should we make a call instead of them calling us? I’ve heard some news about phone scam, where the scammers, through a phone conversation lead the victims to transfer some money through ATM. I guessed this person was one of them. So we ignored that message.

It was not very long after the first message when we received the second text message from different sender number, saying:

Hallo, I am Ms. Emy, I read your ad on the paper, and your house suits my preference. Would you please contact my husband to do negotiation about the price? His name is Mr. Hartanto and he can be contacted at this number 08XXXXXX.

Oh, my... If they are planning a scam, at least they should be more creative about it. Why do they think they can fool people by using different number and changing the names, but not altering the sentence even a little bit? They must be the stupidest scammers around. So, again, we ignored that message.

And we didn’t have to wait for long before that idiot sending another message:

Hallo, I am Mrs.Sri Mulyani, I read your ad on the paper, and your house suits my preference. Would you please contact my husband to do negotiation about the price? His name is Mr. Tony and he can be contacted at this number 08XXXXXX.

At this point we couldn’t help but laughed our a*s off. Sri Mulyani? The former finance minister of Indonesia who is currently the Director of IMF? Oh, Mrs. Sri Mulyani, it’s an honour if you’re interested in buying our humble house. Thanks but no, thanks, we’re not that desperate.

Getting tired of receiving this rubbish, my husband answered to that text message :

Thank you Mrs. Sri Mulyani. If you’re interested in buying the house, please contact Komisaris Polisi XXXX for he is the owner of the house. I am only the intermediary.

Komisaris Polisi, or Police Commissioner is the mid rank officer of Indonesian National Police. And the answer message apparently worked. She/he/they stopped texting us. Good to know that police institution can finally come in handy :)

So that day we basically just laughed, cringed, laughed again. There goes our 60 thousand rupiahs for putting the ad for nothing. The rest of the messages that we received that day is just a load of some other rubbish. Like this one:

I am a paranormal expert. If you want to have luck in selling the house, you can get my insight by contacting me at 08XXXXXX. The fee is only 100 thousand rupiahs.

Or the most recent one:

I am Preacher AsXX from Majalengka. I can help selling your house with the fee being only 200 thousand rupiahs. Guaranteed that your house can be sold within 3 hours.

Sold within three hours? Was he talking about selling a house? Or Justin Bieber concert tickets?

My, oh my…. what a fraudulent society we live in. Wasn’t there any sane person reading our ad at all? We had experience putting an ad some years ago when we sold the previous house, but we didn’t receive fraudulent messages back then as many as we do now. Their population is growing very fast apparently. Probably due to the conducive atmosphere created by the fraudulent political elites in this country. But I digress.

Maybe putting an ad on the paper is not a good idea to begin with, as that can expose us to the crooks that need full alertness to deal with. We’d better come to the professional property agent and let them ~~suffer~~ do the job. :)

Symphony of a Laissez Faire Mom

2011-06-22T00:27:00.000-07:00

Now you can let me go, Mom!

Yesterday my friend asked my opinion about sending his kid to full day school in this new academic year, as full day school seems to be in growing demand in Indonesia these days. It took me a while to think. I am nowhere near the Tiger Mother who sets a high standard of achievement for the children, but I am more of a Laissez Faire Mom who sheds my proud tears only to see that my eldest has built her interest in playing keyboard music, and my youngest in dancing traditional dance. That’s why it always comes with big surprise to me when anyone asks my advice about raising children. But on the second thought, it’s not really surprising if this friend who often asks for my opinion is a single male friend raising his three nephews after their mother passed away (he is a terrific person).

Anyway, even though I am a lenient mother, I have one priority in raising kids in this hostile/unjust/dishonest environment, that is to teach my children about honesty and strive in whatever field they choose. I am not really worried about the outcome, but am more concerned about the effort they spend to reach the goal by utilizing their potentiality to the fullest.

I wake them up at five everyday, force them to have breakfast and drag them to have a shower though they can hardly open their eyes (it seems trivial but I have to mention it because this is actually the hardest part of the day), I sit beside them the whole evening when they do their homework and learn their lesson, I take them to extracurricular activities of their own choice on weekends, I browse with them through children’s section of the bookstores to build their love for knowledge, but NEVER have I set a standard of grade they have to achieve. Why? Because I won’t let the effort of getting high grade overrule the process of gaining knowledge itself.

Class rank? I am not worried too much about it. I never believe that high ranked students in class are really that clever to solve problems in the real life, anyway :) . I feel no necessity to punish my children if they don’t do their homework or study for the test, but rather pointing out the consequence of it. They should experience hence understand how good it feels to succeed on their own effort, and how bad it feels to achieve less for not trying hard enough.

Getting stars? (In my children’s school, the achievement of a student is also measured by the number of “stars” the teachers give them). My children are encouraged to get stars, but with or without those stars they always be the brightest stars in my heart (shed my tears again).

Full day school? Maybe not for my children. Many people send their children to full day school because it can save them trouble of looking after the children all day. But going to full day school means the children will have no time for themselves for the sake of the parents’ convenience. I think children need enough time to be in their own “zone” where they can do their activities without intervention from teachers or parents. They need time to develop their imagination and creativity to do or create something in their own peace. Heck, even I need to be in my “zone” to write for this blog. :)

Chatting with other parents? I limit it only to talk about the schedule of school activities. Peer pressure among parents who keep comparing the achievement of one child with another (which is basically comparing THEIR own achievement) can be depressing, instead of motivating. I’d rather spend the time to chat with my children and giggle with them when they told me about their first crush (they are only 10 and 8, I don’t even think it’s a real “crush”)

Cheating to get high grade? Forget it. I told my children to stand up and say no to either cheating or being cheated like what I wrote here about my eldest and her dear friend. That’s why I am very disturbed to see how parents can support systematic cheating in school like what happened in SD Gadel II, Surabaya, where a parent who reported the cheating ended up getting bad treatment from the other angry parents. This is what happens when a society put the priority to get high grade above moral values, or even common sense. So much for the character building.

And that’s so far what I've been doing. I don’t know yet whether or not my style will change when my children enter their teens. Because parenting style to me is like an organic matter that keeps growing and adapts to the ever changing environment. But one thing that I know for sure. Against all odds, I still have faith in honesty and integrity. And that’s the only legacy this Laissez Faire Mom wants to leave for her children. At least for the time being.

In the Name of Love

2011-06-16T23:05:00.000-07:00

Photo credit : Kompasiana

If in the old days the romantic conversation between two lovers was something like : “If you were a flower, I would be the leaves”, or “If you were a moon, I would be the stars”, don’t be surprised if nowadays you will hear a couple say, “If you were Nunun, I would be Adang”. Lol.

Adang Daradjatun is former National Police chief, while his wife, Nunun Nurbaeti, is a fugitive who was involved in the distribution of Rp 24 billion ($2.7 million) in traveler’s checks to buy lawmakers’ votes for the appointment of a Bank Indonesia senior deputy governor. Adang, who is now a member of the House of Representatives, has refused to say where his wife is. She was believed to escape to Singapore with an excuse of seeking treatment for a disease that caused memory loss, and she is also believed to travel to Thailand and Cambodia.

Amidst the endemic corruption and bribery scandals in Indonesia, one thing that makes this case special (read: laughable) is to see how persistent a husband, by (ab)using his power, trying to protect his fugitive wife. In the name of love. When asked by reporters the whereabouts of his wife, Adang answered: “She is in my heart. I love her very much.” I felt as if I was watching a melodrama. Can you pass me that pop corn, honey? And the towel to wipe my tears?

The reason Adang doesn’t reveal the whereabouts of his wife is because he considers his wife as a victim, an anchovy that is used to catch a whale. Adang also claimed he had a voice tape containing a conversation between him and a KPK investigator, where the investigator offered his wife a "special status" if she was willing to be made a decoy to catch corruptors.

Maybe Nunun is a victim, but one has to wonder if Adang Daradjatun displayed the same persistence to see justice was carried out when he was a National Police chief, as he does now in the case of his wife. How about other Nununs who have no husband with power like him? How about a grandmother who faced criminal charges for stealing three cocoa pods in Banyumas? Or how about two grandmothers, heroine widows, who faced the charge of squatting in houses belonging to state-owned company? The double standard is sickening.

But then again, last night I asked my husband this hypothetical question, “If I were in Nunun’s position, would you do the same thing Adang Daradjatun did?”

And half asleep, yawning, he answered, “Definitely”.

Of course, he couldn’t bear the consequence if he told me otherwise :D

University : For Rich People Only?

2011-06-08T23:35:00.000-07:00

Photo credit : fmdmakassar

If there was a sign that was missing from most universities in Indonesia, it would be the sign saying: “No Poor Allowed”. Because for most people in Indonesia, education, especially higher education, is a luxury.

This is a rough calculation of education cost in Indonesian state universities based on the information I gathered from various sources and friends who send their children to Uni. The admission fee to enter universities is about 25 – 50 million rupiahs, and expensive faculties like medical can cost up to Rp 100 - 200 million rupiahs. I already get dizzy just by looking at the number. It’s equal with the price of a house with two bedrooms in Bandung. And if parents manage to have that amount of money by selling their house or rob a bank (gosh, I am so cynical), it’s only the beginning of the story because they have to start to prepare for the monthly allowance.

The rough calculation of monthly allowance is as follows: Semester fee is around Rp 6 – 9 million rupiahs per semester, or about 1 – 1.5 million rupiahs per month. Text books, photocopies, transportation, stationeries, and miscellaneous spending is about Rp 1 – 1.5 million rupiahs per month. If the students stay in boarding house or rent a room, then add 0.5 - 1 million rupiahs to that amount. If you have two children go to university, multiplied the number by two. It can add up to 5 – 8 million rupiahs per month.

And what is the minimum wage rate in Indonesia? About 1 million rupiahs per month. Even if we compare that with GDP, which is a very biased tool because of the huge economic disparities among Indonesian citizens, the aforementioned amount of education cost is still far above GDP in 2010 which was only about 27 million per year or 2.25 million rupiahs per month.

It’s true that good education has to be expensive, but do people have to bear all the burden? Then here comes our rhetorical question, “If they (you know who) can’t provide the reasonably affordable education for the people, then where the hell does our tax money go?”

Looking at the current education system in Indonesia, sometimes I wonder where this country is going to take its young generations (If they are going to be taken somewhere at all). Government does provide free education using that BOS scheme but it’s only for the basic level, and the education quality is mostly poor. I had to move my eldest after she spent a week in the elementary school that uses BOS scheme to a private school because of the poor condition of the previous. There were about fifty something students in a class and each desk had to be occupied by three students. To solve the problem of overcrowded classrooms, the class was then divided into two groups, one group study from 7 to 9.30 and another group from 9.30 to 12. Problem solved! I wonder what these students can learn in only two and half hours a day, or less if the break time is taken into account.

On the other hand, the education fee for the tenth grade and above, particularly the university fee is getting higher and higher, allowing less and less people to afford that. The cynic in me would say that by implementing this system, free of charge for the basic level and incredibly high fare for the higher level, this country encourages its young generations to get education only until the basic level, just to ensure the availability of a huge number of cheap-blue collar labours for foreign investors. Pardon my thought. I really hope it’s not true.

By the time my children enter university, which is about 9 years from now, I don’t know how high the education cost is going to be. I may do forecasting using inflation rate or other parameters to predict the amount. But it’s not all about the economy, stupid. It’s about the intention of people with authority to set up policies that treat education as every citizen’s right, not a profitable business for some people only.

If Only Life Were as Easy as MS Word…..

2011-06-01T17:42:00.000-07:00

If in the movie “Click”, the main character has a remote control that allows him to control things in his real life, I wish I could have some features of MS Word that I could use for real.

Let’s start with that copy and paste buttons. Wouldn’t it be great if we could copy and paste things need to be duplicated or multiplied in this life? How about copy pasting the brave and honest politicians who have genuine concerns for the people? I know, I know, it would be hard to find someone to copy in the first place :) .

And it would be nice if we had that cut button to cut out unnecessary things in this life, like the invisible boundaries that divide human beings, be it created by the difference in race, religion, ideology, wealth, and so on and so forth. As far as I'm concerned, these boundaries are made for administrative purpose, not to put people into boxes.

It's sad that when a tragedy takes place, some people point their fingers and proudly say “The perpetrator is not from our religion, but from your religion”. When the perpetrator happened to have the same religion, they loudly say “The perpetrator is not from our country, but from your country” And when the perpetrator happened to have the same religion and from their country, they say “Well, there are other more important issues to discuss. How about that environmental degradation in your country?”. Duh!

In the place where I work, when there is a gathering, there is always a hierarchical boundary that herds a director to sit with other directors, a manager sits with other managers, an office boy sits with other office boys. Come on, what’s the point of this so-called gathering, when they end up gathering with the same people they gather with on day-to-day basis?

And in the place where I live there is still an unbreakable boundary between the natives and the migrants, even though we were born in the some country, live under the same sky and breath the same air. It’s true that people naturally gravitate towards people who are similar to them, but perhaps this cut button could be used to erase that particular law of gravitation as well.

Back to the other MS Word buttons, I think our life would be a lot easier if we could have that find button. The button could probably be used to locate the Indonesian corruptors who automatically, bizarrely, disappear anytime they get caught. I wonder where they learn that David Copperfield kind of trick. But I guess that deserves another different post.

I could also lend the find button to my dear husband and other typical forgetful husbands who often forget where they put their belongings, be it wallet, key, cellphone, hat, you name it. Sometimes I wish I could put alarms on all my husband's stuffs, but then again, he would forget where he put the alarm-remote control. Or maybe I should put an alarm on his alarm-remote control? Sigh.

But the most awesome button that I really want to have for real is that undo button. It would be awesome if anytime I realized that I made mistakes by doing wrong things, making wrong decisions, or saying wrong words, I could just press that undo button and started all over again.

But then again, how can I be sure that my life would’ve been happier had I handled things differently? What is done is done. The important thing is how we can move forward and do better without having to look back and regret.

And really, I think I’ve been babbling too much and it’s time for me to stop daydreaming and do something real to start a new paragraph of my life.

Enter :)

Materialistious, Consumptious, Narcissistious,...... You

2011-05-23T00:44:00.000-07:00

(The title was inspired by a commercial of a mobile phone with the tagline “Glamorous, Fabulous, Precious,…You”. It’s not that this post has anything to do with the commercial.. Well, not entirely anyway)

If you think that you are not materialistic, think again. Do you still keep some old items in your house? Do you have that collection of branded shoes, dresses, or bags, collecting dust in your wardrobe? Do you have items that you didn’t use during the last few years but you still love to keep instead of give away for donation? Because to me that’s just another sign of materialism. The most cliché justification for people who love to collect this kind of stuffs, other than the sentimental thingy, is to keep up their prestige.

But while these stuffs only give you a little benefit and utility in physical sense, you sacrifice much more to keep them. Other than the money you have to spend to buy these stuffs, you sacrifice space for their storage, you clean them up or bring them to laundry on regular basis, when you move to another house, you devotedly pack them one by one and carry all the stuffs with you. Do you realize that you become a servant for these material goods instead of them being a servant for you?

If you think that you are not consumptive, think again. Are you a gadget lover? How many times have you changed your mobile phone during this last decade only because the new ones offer a slightly more advanced feature than your previous phone?. If, say, you already have a mobile phone, a camera, and a laptop to use internet, why do you have to buy a new phone that has camera and internet features? (you never even use the camera because the picture quality of your stand alone camera is definitely better, and internetting using smartphone is never as convenient as using your computer).

My friend jokingly said that he'd been searching for a mobile phone that can also function as camera, music player, computer, television, .....refridgerator and washing machine, but couldn't find any, so he'd better stick to his old mobile phone. Another friend, on the other hand, keeps checking (and buying) new gadgets, and usually soon after he manages to learn how to operate a new gadget properly and upload some programs to optimize its work, there is a new model coming and he feels the urge to buy the new one and sells the old one with low price. That’s silly. He has not even fully utilized and enjoyed the convenience of having the old gadget. Hun, give yourself a break!

If you think that you’re not narcissistic, think again. Do you feel the slightest feeling of content when people drool over your possessions? Do you go for overseas holidays, not because you really need it for refreshing or expanding your knowledge about the countries, but with the purpose of being able to upload the pictures on your facebook page later and receive some comments like “Aww…I envy you, you’re so lucky”. Do you feel that only by possessing certain belongings you will get equal respect and treatment with a certain group of people? Keeping up with the Bakries, anyone?

And sadly this narcissism nowadays has also touched the education system. Do you send your children to expensive school whose admission fee from you alone is enough to build some school classrooms in remote area of Indonesia? Do you send your children to full day school, expensive courses or bimbel (private extra lessons), mainly to savour the reactions from people who say that you are an educated and modernized parent that understand the need of your children. Are you sure that is really what your children need, and not what you need?

If you think that what you spend your money for is none of my business, think again. Because being a citizen of a nation that is increasingly perceived as having a consumptive lifestyle and becomes the main market target of foreign products is not something that I am proud of.

Lost in Jakarta

2011-05-13T20:25:00.000-07:00

Photo credit : vivanews

I have this bad habit of thinking abruptly and paying less attention to detail. As well as that helps me in circumstances where I have to make a quick decision, in many other situations that also gets me into trouble. Like what happened yesterday.

Yesterday I was supposed to attend a meeting about waste-to-energy projects between Indonesia and South Korea at Ritz Carlton Hotel in Jakarta. The meeting was started at 10 a.m, and after some rough calculation about the travel time and the probability of traffic jam, I went from Bandung at 6.30 a.m using the office’s car. I didn’t have the invitation letter with me because my boss, who was out of town, kept the letter and had made a confirmation with the committee to sign me in. And assuming all the office drivers have been familiar with Jakarta's roads and places, I didn’t even write down the exact address of the Hotel. Well, I thought we would not have trouble finding the building. Ritz Carlton is a famous hotel in Jakarta, isn’t it? When I told the driver to take me to Ritz Carlton, he nodded his head. Confidently.

At about 9.30 we managed to get to the appointed building. See? I told you it was gonna be easy. The driver dropped me at the hotel lobby then he parked the car somewhere. I was lurking around to find a place to sit and read the material for the meeting. I was taking my time, thinking that I still had enough time to go.

When the time was around 9.50 I came to the concierge to check the venue of the meeting, but only to find puzzlement on the guy’s face as there was no such meeting in that building. I was stunned, trying to figure out what happened. Could I come to the wrong place? Or was it on the wrong date? Then I called the Indonesian fellow who acts as a representative of one of the Korean companies involved in that project. I told him that I was at Ritz Carlton in Sudirman Street and asked him about the meeting. He was surprised and told me that the meeting was not at Ritz Carlton Sudirman but it was at Ritz Carlton Kuningan. What? How many Ritz Carlton are there in Jakarta?

Frantically I called the driver. But there was no answer. Probably he was looking for something to eat and left the mobile phone in the car, thinking that I was already settled in the right building. After calling him twice with no answer, I decided to get a taxi. I approached a taxi driver and asked him what the fastest time he could take me to Ritz Carlton Kuningan. He said “Ten minutes, if there is no traffic jam”. Yeah, you’d be dreaming to assume that there is no traffic jam during busy hours in whatever corner of Jakarta. But since my only options were waiting for the driver to return my call or taking this taxi, I took the latter option and literally jumped in the car.

The ten minute promise to take me to the right place apparently turned to be almost half an hour because of the traffic jam. I was late. I missed some important points of the meeting. I lost my concentration and it took me a while to pull myself together. And the worst thing of all: I left the poor driver in different building!

Rapunzel Fever

2011-05-11T02:36:00.000-07:00

Being a mother of little kids can be tricky. It seems like a boring job. Yeah, how can you not be bored when you have to do the routine everyday of preparing their breakfast and school kits, coming home from work only to find them needing your help in doing their homework, etc, etc. BUT this can actually be the most interesting journey in your life. Yes, isn’t it interesting to observe their body and mind development, to hear the story of their day, or to laugh at their laughter?

And lately I’ve been observing my youngest girl. After watching the animated movie “Tangled” whose main character is Rapunzel - a girl with incredibly long hair-, my youngest was so obsessed with long hair. We searched for a doll with hair exactly as long as Rapunzel’s with no success. After being disappointed for a moment, she was then determined to make Rapunzel doll on her own. And this is how she did it:

Her first attempt was making Rapunzel doll from paper. She drew the picture of a beautiful girl (according to her, that is) on a piece of paper, cut it, kept it sturdy by sticking a chopstick on the back of it. Then she did the hair. She cut HVS paper in hundreds of long pieces and joined them with adhesive tape. It took a quarter ream of my HVS paper and several rolls of adhesive tape to create some paper dolls with incredibly long hair till she was satisfied with her work.

Her second effort was making doll’s hair using raffia rope. It took one big roll of raffia rope to create her work of art. She cut the rope in very long pieces and attached them on Barbie dolls’ hair, making it an artificial long shiny hair on many of her Barbie dolls.

In the next experiment she used rubber bands. She collected all rubber bands she could find from the kitchen, warehouse, play kits, accessories kits, till she found a bunch of them. She then joined them one by one till they made some very long bands. The bands were then attached to the Teddy bear’s head, and as a result, the Teddy bear looked pretty (or weird, I am not sure).

The next “victim” of her experiment is my hand towels. I was bewildered one day to see all the clean hand towels disappeared from the cupboard. Apparently my girl used all the hand towels, joining them one by one by tying the corners till they became a very long piece of clothes, then she tied it to her own hair. She was dragging her new “hair” all along the way when she was walking around in the back yard, carrying along all the dust and dirt with the towels.

This Rapunzel fever has been going on for months. And I am eagerly waiting to discover what other material this ‘Rapunzel wannabe’ girl will use to create her next masterpiece.

The House of (Supposedly People’s) Representatives

2011-05-10T19:22:00.000-07:00

News from Theindonesiatoday today:

"After stormed by public criticism for months and investigation into bribery in athlete dormitory project in South Sumatra, the House of Representatives (DPR) will likely re-tender the engineering, procurement, and construction (EPC) of the new building.

The decision to re-tender is not final yet, but the House considers seriously recommendation from ministry of public works to cut the budget from Rp1.1 trillion to Rp777 billion.

The ministry earlier stated the House could have a new building with substantially lower budget of Rp777 billion. Public mainly criticize DPR's new building project. Other than it's considered too expensive, facilities to be built (swimming pool, massage centers, etc) are considered too much."

Awww… that's too bad. I think the House should persist on the previous budget. They badly need luxurious, spacious, and cozy place to do these following important things:

Sleeping. This picture was taken on the commemoration of Kartini Day. As well as humiliating themselves, they sure are humiliating Ibu Kartini.

Photo credit : koranbaru

Facebooking. In order not to be technologically and socially inept, MPs need to keep up with social networkings too, you know. But facebooking during a plenary session? Certainly not what they are paid to do with their high salary.

Photo credit : indonesiacrazypicture

Viewing porn pictures. He didn’t intentionally do that and has deleted the pictures from his tablet. Yeah, exactly the same excuse my 10 years old neighbor use after he drew graffiti on our fence wall but unfortunately was caught pants down (in that MP’s case this could mean literally).

Photo credit: asiaone

Picking nose. Okay, we can forgive him for that. It’s not like people will remember him for the rest of his life as “a man who picks his nose during a parliament meeting ”. Or maybe people will.

Photo credit : kaskus

Learning how to make and utilize an e-mail account. Based on the report about the visit of Indonesian Parliament Members to Australia, it was found out that the MPs, who are granted a high budget for telecommunication facility, apparently didn’t even know (or have?) the official e-mail address. That was revealed during a discussion between the members of Commission Eight and PPIA (Indonesia-Australia Student Association). Hehe.. I once was a member of this organization. I am sure they didn’t mean to write the report to humiliate the House of Representatives, as if they need more humiliation anyway.

Seriously, what do you need a large building for when there are more people absent than present?

Photo credit :eramuslim

The Birthers, the Deathers, the Afterlifers

2011-05-03T19:36:00.000-07:00

Photo credit : Cartoon a day

The first of May was the historical moment for America and the world as President Obama announced the death of Osama bin Laden, the leader of Al Qaeda, who was killed by the U.S. military in Pakistan. While some people are celebrating the death of Osama (though the words "celebration" and "death" are no doubt contradictory), some others choose to be skeptical toward the news, either they believe that Osama has been killed years ago, or Osama is currently still alive.

After the “birthers” who were questioning the eligibility of President Obama and demanding him to reveal his real long form birth certificate, there are now the so called “deathers”, who are questioning the truth of Osama’s death and come up with some conspiracy theories, which is basically questioning whether Obama has told people the truth or it was just part of a prolonged campaign to build public trust and sympathy toward him.

In Indonesia, the reactions toward the death of Osama are no less varied. There are the likes of the deathers, who are also questioning the truth of Osama’s death. Organizations like PKS and HTI are some who doubt that Osama is really dead. There is also an organization like FPI that condemned the killing of Osama – wonder why they never condemn the killing of thousand innocent people on terrorist bombings. And when the picture of Osama’s body was spread on the internet, Roy Suryo, the so called telematics expert who never misses this kind of thing out, gave his take on the already obvious as photoshopped picture, claiming that it is fake .

And taking one step further from the American fellows, some Indonesians are not only questioning whether Osama is really dead or the news is just a hoax, they are even speculating whether Osama is going to heaven or hell. The argument for Osama going to heaven is because he died as a martyr, and the argument for Osama going to hell is that he was the man behind the death of innocent people during the WTC bombing and other terrorism bombings. There is even a poll regarding this matter. Here

So after the “birthers” and the “deathers”, I guess now we also have the “afterlifers” (not sure if they will demand a long form afterlife certificate of Osama, though). Only in Indonesia :D

"Heaven and hell suppose two distinct species of men, the good and the bad. But the greatest part of mankind float betwixt vice and virtue" (David Hume)

Preaching vs Marketing

2011-04-22T18:36:00.000-07:00

Photo credit : Waislama

Yesterday I went to Cipanas, Bogor, with a business associate of the company to visit one of the factories. On the way home, we talked about the current issues in the country, from the topic about the ever increasing price of basic goods until a little conversation about terrorism in Indonesia. We talked about how we condemned the book bombings and suicidal bombing in the Cirebon mosque. During that conversation he raised some interesting points that caught my attention.

He said, “I think terrorism and other unpleasant incidents performed by some muslims in Indonesia is partly the failure of the ustadz, kiyai, or preachers in teaching religion to the followers. They may have great knowledge about Islam as a religion, but the way I see it, they are lack of marketing skill.”

I gasped, “Marketing, Pak?” I know that this gentleman used to work in marketing division of one reputable bank in Indonesia before he decided to run a business of his own, so I thought he spoke based on his experience.

He nodded his head and continued, “Preaching is actually the act of marketing. What do they sell? Religion. It’s the act to encourage people to do good deeds compelled by religion. We might as well see it as promoting a non-profit business, and in this consumerist society we live in, in order for every business to survive, marketing is virtually inevitable”

He then added, “The key in marketing is to bring forward the good features of the product, not the negativity of it. So if an ustadz does the teaching that can further lead to negative behaviour, even incite suicide bombing, he definitely has failed in ‘selling’ the religion”.

I smiled, “It’s like selling medicine but ends up making people sick from the side effect?”

“Haha… yes it is”. And he continued, “I remember one of my friends embraced Islam because he was very impressed by how muslims maintain the aspect of cleanliness. Muslims perform ablution at least five times a day before praying by cleansing face, hands, feet, and it has been scientifically proven to have many physical benefits. But that good aspect of Islam is rarely mentioned and appreciated anymore these days. People are now more interested in associating Islam with bombing and terrorism. Another example of marketing failure”.

At this point I couldn’t help being smartass, “Isn’t it also caused by the biased coverage by media, and somehow is intertwined with some political interests?”

He nodded, “Yes, that could be the case. But we cannot say that it’s not the weakness of our side. We should admit that people’s marketing aptitude, or lack thereof, can influence and shape the news presented by the media, because a good media will never skip the check and recheck step in presenting the coverage of events”

He then went on, “And don’t forget that people nowadays demand logical explanation for every aspect in life. If we persuade people to behave in a certain way by promising them a reward of heaven, or punishment of hell, it will be like selling insurance, an intangible product. Either you have to be extremely good at persuading people to buy it or you have to present testimony from people who've ever got benefit from it. The problem is, how can we get testimony from people who've ever been to hell or heaven? That’s why it’s better to give a logical reasoning or stay in marketing tangible goods”

I smiled. “I think a good follower will do good deeds because they have moral responsibility of doing them, not because they’re expecting reward or afraid of punishment”

“That’s right. And this is another thing, there is an ethic in marketing that forbids you to put condescending words toward other products, or in this case other religions. You may promote your product by telling people that your product is good but you can never say that the competitor’s products are worse”.

I nodded in agreement, “So, Pak, you think that not only gaining knowledge about religion, the ustadz, kiyai or preachers should also equip themselves with the knowledge of marketing? In addition to the religion books, they should read the books by Philip Kotler or Hermawan Kertajaya”

He laughed, “Haha… that’s right. I concur. In fact, not only an ustadz, I think every one of us needs a little marketing in our life”

We separated at Pasteur, Bandung, before he continued his way and I took a taxi home. I couldn’t say that I agree with all points he made but nonetheless, I enjoyed the conversation.

A Trip to East Java

2011-04-14T21:40:00.000-07:00

The good thing about having a blog is I can write anything I want in this blog without considering whether people will find it useful, useless, or something in between :) . Like here in this post I will share a little bit about my trip to Surabaya, Jember and Malang for work and bear with me if it may sound more like an itinerary.

I took a flight from the Airport of Husein Sastranegara, Bandung, using Merpati Airlines with the departure time (written on the ticket) at 16.30. Being an on time person as I am, I arrived at Husein at 15.15. After having a security check at the entering gate, I went straight to the check in counter. After sending my luggage away and holding my boarding pass, I went to the airport tax counter. Since I had nothing else important to do, I decided to go up stair, paid insurance, had another security check on the gate, then having a seat in the waiting room while reading the book that I brought with me. As I could guess, Merpati‘s flight was delayed due to unknown reason and finally flew at 17.00.

Cloudy sky above Java Island

The plane arrived at Djuanda Airport at around 18.15. After collecting my luggage, using the airport taxi I went to the ELMI hotel in the center of Surabaya, where I would stay for the night.

The next day, after having a short meeting in the hotel lobby with my boss and the people from the company that invited us, we checked out from the hotel and continued our trip to Jember which took about 6 hours. We passed that site of Lapindo mud in Porong, and the wall surrounding it was built higher and higher. I don’t know how high and how long the wall can keep the mud away from the outer area. The driver said that the site is becoming a kind of tourist attraction and some of the previously citizens on that site are now becoming tour guides for people who want to visit the location. So ironic and so sad.

After having some visits to several locations, we finally managed to get to the cottage in Jember at around 00.30 am in the middle of the night and had to continue our trip to Malang at 6.30 am in the morning to visit another location. We arrived at around 10.30 am in Malang and went back to Surabaya on that same day.

In the afternoon we had a closing meeting at Rollaas café in Tunjungan Plaza. The special menu in that café is Kopi Luwak (Luwak Coffee) and Kopi Lanang (Lanang Coffee). According to the café owner, there is an interesting story behind the production of these coffees.

Kopi Luwak is made from the coffee beans which have been eaten by civets. During the digesting process, civets produce enzyme that makes this coffee beans have special taste and flavour. After the beans are defecated, they are collected and go through the regular coffee processing. The special characteristics of this coffee is also caused by the ability of these civets to select the best coffee beans before they eat them. Kopi Luwak is one of the most expensive coffees in the world. In that café Kopi Luwak is sold for 80.000 rupiahs for one cup, about 14 or 20 times the price of regular coffee. Can you believe that? Something that comes out of civet’s a*se turns to be more valuable than something that comes out of human’s mouth. I am so offended :) .

Kopi Lanang has a different story. Lanang means male in Bahasa Jawa because the coffee is made from selected coffee beans which have a unique oval shape with one part of seed (monocotyl), unlike the normal coffee beans that have 2 halves of seed (dicotyl). It is also believed that this coffee can increase man's vitality. The owner said that the slogan for this coffee is "It takes one to drink it, but it takes two to enjoy it", haha... yeah, whatever. As long as the majority of male entities are obsessed with their vitality, there will be endless opportunity for producers of consumer goods to increase their sales by putting the label of "stamina" or "vitality" on their products :) . But apart from that quality and its unique taste, this coffee is very special because of the limited number of production amount, only 5-10% overall production of Robusta coffee.

Anyway, that’s a little story about coffee. At around 19.00 we went to IBIZ hotel in Surabaya to stay for the night. After writing the outline and some important points for my report, I slept like dead that night due to being exhausted from the long trip. I should file a complaint that the coffee apparently didn't work for me :) .


Djuanda Airport

In the next morning we headed off to Djuanda Airport to catch the flight in the morning. But Merpati was delayed, again, for an unknown reason. If back in 80ies we had a movie in Indonesia titled “Merpati Tak Pernah Ingkar Janji” (Pigeon never breaks promise), then I would say that for this case “Merpati Selalu Ingkar Janji” (Pigeon always breaks promise). After having the same ritual in the airport (the difference is that in Djuanda, airport tax is paid in check in counter, and there is KTP check before entering the waiting room), we finally flew at 11.00 am and arrived at around 12.20 pm in Bandung safe and sound.

Bandung from above

License to Bribe

2011-03-30T01:04:00.000-07:00

Photo credit: dailymail

Last Saturday I went to the police office to extend my driver's license. I headed off there with positive mind because from what I heard, there is no room for bribery in getting driver's license nowadays as police officers are in attempt to heal their image after a lot of humiliating cases involving police institution that give them bad names.

Soon as I got to the police office, I went straight to the counter where there is one police officer waiting. And below is the script of my conversation with this officer, with a little bit of modification as I can’t exactly remember word by word.

Me (showed my old driver's license) : “Good morning. I’d like to extend my driver's license, please”

Him (took the license and observed it) : “Morning, Mam. Where do you work?”

Me (puzzled with his question. What does my work got to do with driver's license?) : “Oh, I work for XXXXX”

Him : “And where does your husband work?”

Me (puzzled even more. And what the hell has husband’s work got to do with my driver's license?) : “My husband works XXXXX”

Him (Smile in relief) : “Okay, let me explain the procedure. We had two procedures in extending a driver's license here. One is the regular procedure. You have to take one of the forms on the desk outside and fill in it. After doing the paperwork, you have to have your health checked in the next building, and make a payment on the bank, then come back here to hand all the papers. Then you have to wait till you are asked to take a picture and finger print, and have another wait till your license is issued. The second one is the special procedure. All you have to do is giving me this old license and the copy of your ID card then wait. You’ll be asked to take a picture and finger print, then your license is done”

Me : “I see. So, there are two lines of procedures. And what is the difference between these two in term of the fee?”

Him: “For the regular procedure you only have to pay a hundred thousand rupiahs. For the special procedure you have to pay a hundred and fifty thousand rupiahs. But again you don’t have to take the special procedure if you are reluctant to pay the extra fee”

Me (Starting to get the idea on why he asked me about work. The standard fee for extending driver's license is one hundred thousand rupiahs. So the extra fifty thousands is bribery to "smooth things down". Maybe he was afraid if I am a journalist or people who can report the bribery case) : “Can I go outside and have a thought for a while?”

Him: “Sure, Mam”

So I went outside and had a thought. If I took the regular or “do it yourself” procedure, I would have to do all the hassle in filling in the form, having a health check and lining up to pay to the bank. It would certainly take a long time. If I took the special or “leave it to me” procedure, all I had to do was sit and wait. It would be fast and hassle free.

For a second I thought to take the regular procedure. Bribing will mean betrayal to my value. I condemn bribery, no matter how minuscule the amount of money involved is. Say no to bribery!

But then I remembered my kids who were waiting sweaty in the car. There flashed before my eyes their school projects that needed my help to do, some clothes for work that needed ironing, some new DVDs that I was dying to watch, some works from the office that I took home with me… oh, my. I didn’t have the luxury to do all that hassle in getting the driver's license while I had many more important things to do, including writing for this blog :)

So, pathetically, I put a hundred and fifty thousand rupiahs in the folder and handed it to the officer. It took no longer than ten minutes till my new license was issued, while I could see that some people who came way before me and went through the regular procedure still stayed in line waiting.

I bribed, and it was humiliating. But what’s more humiliating is the way these officers open rooms for bribery by taking advantage of people who have no time luxury like me. They give options of the slow lane and the fast lane, which inevitably encourage people to bribe. Who on earth would want to do things slowly if they could do it fast? (unless we're talking about making love, of course). If these officers really intend to uplift their image, why don’t they set one regular procedure and cut the inefficiency to make things faster? If paying an extra fifty thousand rupiahs can make me skip some steps in making the license, then maybe these particular steps were not meant to be in the procedure to begin with.

There goes my dream to have a clean country where no people bribe and corrupt. And I, for one, maintain this practice of bribery by choosing to bribe myself. Damn!

I Got Door Prize

2011-03-13T00:02:00.000-08:00

People looove getting prizes. The producers of consumer products certainly take an advantage from it by organizing some lucky draws/quizzes, and giving away some prizes as one of their marketing tricks to attract more customers and increase the sale of the products. TV and radio stations also regularly organize some quizzes in order to increase the rating. Some banks give prizes and cash backs to attract more customers in a tight competition. And in almost every event/occasion, giving away door prizes to the attendees has also been the trend lately. Everybody is salivating for prizes!

I am not too interested in joining quizzes or lucky draws with the probability of winning being one out of millions. I think this incredibly small probability of getting the prize is not worth the hassle of writing down your name, address and ID number on the coupon, putting it to the appointed boxes or sending it by post. What a waste of time and energy. And I wouldn't instantly change the brand of products I have been using only because its competitors offer some prizes. Sorry, I am not that kind of gal :) . As a customer, I would love to have these producers increase the quality of their products and services that will have a longer term effect on the users rather than spending their budget for organizing lucky draws that only gives a false hope for people who join it (and do not win).

Besides, I never have any luck in joining lucky draws. The best prize I’ve ever won from joining quizzes is a t-shirt and an umbrella. Sucks.

But not until yesterday.

Yesterday the company that I work for celebrated its anniversary. The venue for the event was Sasana Budaya Ganesha (Sabuga) building near ITB Bandung. It was a good and attractively organized event, started by group activities and interactive games for team building, and closed by a music performance featuring some famous artists, including the traditional dance group “Rumingkang” from Bandung who was the winner in the program of Indonesia Mencari Bakat in Trans TV (I looove those energetic little dancers).

Rumingkang dancers

"Kaulinan Urang Lembur" dancers. Another traditional dance group from Bandung.

But all those series of programs were not the main reason for all the audiences to stay till the end of the event. It was the door prizes! The door prizes for the audiences consisted of some motorcycles, mountain bikes, televisions, and some other prizes I can’t remember. And despite of my skeptical attitude about my own luck in winning a prize in this kind of events, at the end of the program I got prize of a Polytron DVD player! Yippie! That was the first time in history I got a prize worth more than 50 thousand rupiahs from a lucky draw. What an achievement! :)

I started to have a different view about my luck. Maybe my luck is not too bad after all. And I have to tell you that winning a prize from a draw does feel so good. No wonder people keep sending coupons then waiting in vain for someone to knock on their door and hand the prize they have been dreaming of, only to end up being disappointed again and again. Yeah, keep dreaming!

Now that I’ve discovered that I do have a little luck, will I join a quiz/lucky draw with the probability of winning being one out of millions? Nah, I still think it’s just a waste of time and energy :D

At the Place Where God is Most Often Mentioned

2011-02-27T23:24:00.000-08:00

Photo credit : Penny Parker

Last week I spent the whole week nursing my first daughter who was hospitalized for typhoid fever. She entered the hospital in the morning with almost 39 degree body temperature and having her nose bleeding. On that day alone she had to have her blood checked twice for the suspicion of dengue fever because of these symptoms. But the result showed that her trombosit was normal, and she positively suffered from typhoid. So, there she was, lying on the hospital bed with infusion hose inserted into her hand, trembling from high fever, and having her nose bleeding several times in a day. That was a truly heartbreaking moment for any mother.

But in that hospital, my daughter was not the only one who suffered. There was this lovely little girl that was nearly comma when she was taken there. She slept all day, and her family thought that she just had a common fever. After spending one night in the hospital and going through a thorough diagnosis including CT scan, the result revealed that she suffered from encephalitis (brain inflammation) and had to be transferred to ICU room immediately. Her mother was crying and telephoning all people she knew like crazy from the hospital hall, telling them that her daughter had brain inflammation and could lost her life anytime.

And there was another lovely 14 months old baby, who was taken to hospital because she had bloated stomach and had problem in defecating. Her mother, almost self-reassuringly, said that her baby only had a stomach ache and she was pretty sure that the next day she would be allowed to go home safe and sound. After spending one night in the hospital and having her blood checked, the diagnostic result showed that the baby suffered from dengue fever. Her trombosit drastically dropped to 20.000, far below the normal level of 150.000 – 250.000, and after being transferred to the ICU room for several hours, she died. God knows what was in her mother’s mind losing that beautiful baby in such a shocking moment.

Having had witnessed all that misery, I felt a spiritual call from within me. Watching the children lying helplessly on the hospital bed, crying from feeling pain and missing their homes and friends, there was nothing I could think of than pray and pray, for my child, for other children, that they would soon recover from their sickness and get back to their normal life again.

I mentioned God’s name for the whole nights during that week to keep me sane. I don’t care if people questioning whether God truly exists or is merely a figment of imagination. To me, God is there, so real, filling an empty space in my soul that can not be replaced with something else. The only name I could mention when I go through hard times and good times (though I have to admit that I mostly mention it in hard times). The only thing I can hold on to when everything seems plainly hopeless. The only thing I can reach out for help when everything seems damn useless.

Maybe I am not the only one. If you spend your sleepless nights in a hospital, you will probably realize that God is mostly mentioned there.

Additional note : My daughter has recovered and started her school again today. She lost some weight but looks happy and healthy. My youngest daughter, following her elder sister, also suffered from high fever but didn’t have to be hospitalized and is recovering now. I pray that God protects them (and any other children for that matter), always.

The Proper Age to Die

2011-02-08T00:12:00.000-08:00

Last Saturday I visited my father and mother in law. I admit that I’ve been a bad daughter in law because I hadn’t visited them for a long time even though their house was only a few kilometers away from ours. They had been complaining for not seeing their grand children for a long time, as that’s the only entertainment they have in their lonely days. Yeah, I can imagine how lonely life is when your children are no longer around and you have nothing much to do anymore. So please, forgive me.

While my daughters were playing in the yard and husband was having a talk with his father, I joined my mother in law to watch infotainment on TV. Yeah, what else could you expect? Talking about politics or environment will be too depressing for her :) . There was a shocking news on TV on that day. It was the death news of Adjie Massaid, one famous actor and politician in Indonesia. He died at 43 years old, leaving his three small children behind. And I could hear my mother in law muttered “Poor guy, he is too young to die…”

Then my mind started to think, is he really too young to die? How old exactly is the proper age to die (if any)?

Our Prophet died at 63 years old, and many people consider this as the normal life span. Extra years you get after that age is a bonus for you to do more of preparation (whatever it is that you need to prepare). My FIL and MIL are already in this stage, and I feel miserable to hear from husband that they already bought a piece of land for their resting-in-peace place. Oh, please, don’t die just yet! According to statistics, the average life expectancy at birth of Indonesian people is 71 years old. And the good (?) news is, female’s life expectancy is higher than male’s. Yay! But along with the increasing health issues all around the world, famine, natural disasters, the average life expectancy too change from time to time. Is this 63 years old or 71 years old the proper age to die?

Some people say that it is better to die young because people will remember you in your best shape. Some other say that it’s better to die old after your children no longer depend on you. Some people say that it’s better to die very young because you won’t carry a lot of sins on your shoulder. And some other say that it’s better to die very old cause you have had enough of living in this world and living any longer will only make your family suffer from taking care of you.

Gosh, maybe there is no such thing as the proper age to die, because we can’t choose when we’re going to die anyway. We just have to be ready anytime our time in this world is through, and whatever preparation it is that you need to do, just do it now. It’s not the age you die that matters, but the legacy that you leave behind and the way you are remembered.

How about me? Well, I beg on my knees and pray : God, please give me a chance to live in this world till I see my daughters grown up. Give me a chance to nurture them, love them, give them companionship through better and worse till they are mature enough to make decisions on their own. There is nothing I really want than seeing them grown up as independent persons emotionally and financially, then I can die happily. Please, God, give me a chance.

Things Better Left Unsaid at Work

2011-02-06T23:58:00.000-08:00

Let me talk a little about my job. I’ve been working for this company for seven years. Currently, the main task of our division is to make short term and long term planning, and to “develop” the company. From revenue side, we apply new technology, develop new products, or utilize the unproductive assets to increase the revenue. From cost side, we apply new technology or system to increase cost efficiency. We do a lot of trial-and-error kind of works. Some succeed, some fail, some only bring humiliation. But that’s life, eh?

What I like about working in this division is I keep learning new things everyday. Our job often requires us to cooperate with some scientists, engineers, marketers, and people from various disciplines who act as consultants for the company, from both local and overseas. I gain a lot of knowledge from these knowledgeable people.

I have a great team too. There is no rigid hierarchical structure in our division. Each different project has different team leader. So, the success or failure of our job strongly depends on the strength of the work team. Through times, I also learn that there are things better left unsaid at work, in order not to discourage others and to nurture a favorable work environment. Here are the things my colleagues like to say that I put down on a not-to-say list:

“It’s not my kind of job”

I have this one colleague of mine that is often reluctant to do a task because he thinks that the task is not “his kind”, not the type of job he often does. Well, you can say that it’s not your kind of job if you’re asked to sweep the floor or rub the closet in the office because that’s the job of the people from cleaning service (no offense for cleaning service guys, this is my main job too at home), but if the task is still within your reach of capability, why don’t you grab that opportunity to learn a new thing?

“I am very busy. Can you do this for me?”

Yes, lady, everybody knows that you are busy, but who isn’t? There is really no point in showing off that you are the busiest person on earth. The works have been distributed proportionally. If you keep interrupting others to help you while you can actually do it yourself if you try hard enough, that’s simply annoying.

“It’s not my fault”

When we face a problem or difficulty, this friend of mine instantly turns on her defensive mode. The first thing that comes into her mind is “I have to find an alibi to get away from this”. Honey, we all make mistakes. It’s all right as long as you learn something from those mistakes and try to do better in the future. There no reason to avoid problems by saying that you know nothing about it, while you actually do if you try harder to remember.

“I am too old to do this”

One of my colleagues is an old gentleman who is nearly retired. The short period left for him in this office makes him lose the spirit and often refuse jobs by saying he is too old and let the young and enthusiastic ones do it. I think that is wrong, very wrong. Just because you only have a little time left, doesn’t mean that you cannot do something useful at work. You’d rather be remembered as a hard working and energetic fellow when you’re retired, than a useless and lazy old man, wouldn’t you?

“I am done. There is nothing I can do about it”

This guy often gives up easily, especially when the work needs a coordination with other departments or other parties. He often says that he has done his job, and there is nothing he can do for the rest. Oh man, yes, there is. There is always something you can do instead of just waiting in vain. You can pick up the phone to ask, you can write another letter, you can drop in at their office to see what’s the problem, anything you can do if you just get your butt out of that comfy chair.

“Poor me”

This friend of mine always feels sorry for himself. He complains too much, about the slow increase of his salary (somehow he reminds me of our president), about low appreciation he gets at work, about the taste of canteen food, about the price of bubur ayam in front of the office, nearly about anything. I think his principle is “Ask what, the company can do for you, and ask not, what you can do for the company”. Complaining a little might bring sympathy, but complaining too much is simply boring and depressing.

“Yes I can do it (I mean, my colleagues can do it for me)”

I call him “Mr. Hectic”. He is often over-optimistic in setting the job target, but always ends up being hectic in the last minute for trying to finish the unfinished works. Setting a high target is good, but you have to measure the capability of the team, if you rely on them to finish the job. Better set the realistic target that is approved by all the team members, instead of putting something that only looks good on paper and in the end it only puts high pressure on yourself and others.

“I wasn’t involved in the beginning, so why should I take any responsibility?”

I really hate this line. Just because he is a new comer in the division and he wasn’t involved in the beginning of the project, doesn’t mean that he can avoid any responsibility when the project hits the wall or goes in wrong direction. It’s a team work, remember?

“If we can make it difficult, why should we make it easy?”

This is actually a made up line. I and friends use this line as a joke on someone who rigidly sticks to the procedural way of doing the job. We know that we all should work based on some rules. The company statute, job description, standard operational procedures, decree letters, etc, etc, are the corridor for us to work safely both in physical and legal terms. However, if the rules state that we should follow the A to Z step by step, but there are some steps that we can actually skip without affecting the result, why should we make it so complicated? Sometimes there is a trade off between working procedurally safe and working efficiently. We need flexibility to find an optimal point between the two. (Heck, I start to sound like a smartass, but so be it :D )

Having said all that, I put all those lines as a self-reminder because I am far from good myself. In fact, I think I have the combination of all those negative characteristics :) . And being a good employee is not really my destination either, as being “a good employee” to someone sometimes means being “a jerk” to others. I’d rather be a cooperative and supportive employee to my boss and colleagues, no matter who I work with. How does that sound?

We Are (Probably) Not Alone

2011-01-26T18:14:00.000-08:00

Crop Circle in Sleman, Yogya (Photo credit : photoblog)

For the first time, a crop circle - which is a pattern created by flattening crops and is believed as made by UFO - was found in Indonesia. It was discovered on January 24 on a paddy field in Sleman, Yogyakarta, Central Java. Though the work is said to be not as spectacular as some works having been created on other crop fields in other countries – I guess it’s because these UFOs are not experienced in working on paddy fields :) – the result was amazing. One question remains: Who on earth (pun intended) would want to create that work of art on a becek, ngga ada ojek paddy field in the middle of the night?

Some Indonesian scientists (from LAPAN, for example) argue that this crop circle is man made, but some others (The BETA UFO community, for example) are pretty sure that this is UFO made. Hmmm… despite of this controversy about Sleman crop circle, if someone asked if I believe in the existence of UFO my answer would be: Yes, I do. I believe that there is another life form in another galaxy. Our planet is only a small dot in the whole universe. We’re probably not alone. There could be another life form that might have more advanced technology than us. It’s only that human still has limited capacity to prove it scientifically. Although some discoveries have led to some evidences, just like arranging a puzzle, some pieces are still missing to see the complete big picture.

Another thing then drifted into my mind. I think Indonesia has abandoned (though not completely) science. We’re too busy to think about politics and corruption and forget about science. I can think of at least three fields of science needed to analyze this crop circle phenomenon. The pattern of crop circle is not only an art work, but a complicated pattern that needs precision through a thorough calculation in geometry. And since it needs an observation about the trace material indicative of a visitation by UFO on rice stalks and soil, knowledge about soil chemistry and plant physiology is probably required as well. And if it is proven as UFO made, then a further research is required to understand their purpose. Whether they just try to show off that they have more advanced art and technology than us - on the assumption that UFO can be narcissist too -, or they somehow try to deliver a message. What an interesting subject to observe. Maybe it's time for Indonesia to put more attention to science and give more appreciation to Indonesian scientists so they don't choose to stay and work overseas.

One thing that makes me giggle, though, is to see how Indonesian people are very creative in finding business opportunities. This crop circle phenomenon suddenly creates some business opportunities for people around the location. Like some amateur photographers who sell photos of the crop circle to the curious visitors, and some vendors who grab the opportunity to sell foods and drinks. If this phenomenon continues on in some other locations, they might as well build some tents around the locations and sell foods like “Bakso UFO” or “Es campur Alien” or “ET (Es Teler)”, et cetera . :)

Some vendors on the location (Photo credit : photoblog)

Anyway, I should thank the maker of that crop circle, whoever or whatever that might be, for distracting me from boring news about corruption in Indonesia anytime I turn on the television. Even when I am on the road, some street singers constantly deafen me with the song “Andai aku jadi Gayus” or “If I were Gayus” (a tax manipulation convict). These UFO guys really give me a break :D

Be A Corruptor

2011-01-19T22:13:00.000-08:00

Photo credit: Gurusoflaw

Be a corruptor, then you will enjoy a great life in Indonesia. If you’re lucky, or sneaky enough to avoid the risk of being caught by bribing people who will likely to report you, then you will be free. But even if you're reported, you still can walk free by bribing people who have the authority to send you to jail. And even if you have to go to jail, don’t worry, it's not the end of the world at all. You won’t have to lower your lifestyle there, in fact, there are a lot of facilities you otherwise wouldn’t get if you stayed outside jail. Once you got the sentence, you’d better get ready for having a long, happy holiday (don’t forget to bring your sun block and glasses).

With the money you get from corruption, you can bribe the prison officials to give you a room with facility of starred hotel, furnished with LCD flat-screen television sets and air conditioner. You can have your private kitchen, beauty parlor, and karaoke. You can even have your own driver.

If you’re bored with staying in this luxurious room - so called prison cell - and need to recharge your (dark) energy, you can make a fake passport by paying a much-higher-than-normal fare, then go abroad for vacations which you otherwise couldn’t afford if you stayed outside jail.

But if the prison needs to maintain the minimum number of prisoners who stay in jail so it still looks like a jail, you can either arrange a picket schedule with other corruption convict pals, or you can hire a jockey to be in charge while you’re taking a break.

And don’t be scared about the duration of imprisonment you have to endure based on the verdict. On every 17th of August, which is Indonesian National Independence Day, you will get a remission if you have good behaviour, like bring some souvenirs for the prison officials after you go overseas. And you’ll be released before you know it.

After you get out from jail, don’t worry, you can leave all the bad track record behind and still have the opportunity to be a high rank official in this country. Not to mention that even after all the expenses during that long vacation in jail, your bank account is still stuffed.

So, what are you waiting for?

Warning:

This piece is written in sarcasm. I didn’t put the negative side effects of being a corruptor, like: your children and family will get social punishment from society and constantly being under mental depression and humiliation, you will experience anxiety, sleeping disorder, high level of stress, and mental illness at the worst. And if you still have a little, just a little, heart and brain, you will probably be haunted by thoughts about the dying, hungry, malnutritioned people and children out there whose right to live in prosperity was taken by YOU!

Talkin' 'bout Indonesian Girls

2011-01-18T20:47:00.000-08:00

Photo credit : Wallcoo

I have been following the site Indonesiamatters.com for a while. One article in that site that attracts the most comments is titled “Dating Indonesian Girls”, which gives a description about Indonesian girls in general if you’re interested in dating them, especially if you are a man with different nationality who’s never had any experience in having relationship with Indonesian girls. The article itself actually gives a balanced view, like, on the positive side, Indonesian girls are generally beautiful, feminine and do the housework without complaint (cough!), but on the negative side, some women are only interested in money, possessive, and hysterically emotional (cough profusely!).

While the article already gives me a chuckle, the comments in that never ending thread give me either a cringe, a grin, or a roll-on-floor-laugh. The generalization drawn by the commentators, mostly foreign men, is that Indonesian women generally are materialistic and lazy! Oh, my… While I half-heartedly agree with what they said and I think Indonesian girls should take it for self-reflect, I am sure the comments were only based on their observation on some girls who they met in malls or bars, the number of whom hardly represents the number of all women in society. Maybe if they mingled with some other more girls who live in the “real world” the way I do, they would know that what they wrote is not entirely true (sok tahuuu!).

The materialistic accusation probably comes from the fact that Indonesian culture is strongly patriarchy, where men are expected to be the sole breadwinner in the family and women depend entirely on their husband financially. So, it’s not surprising if in the old days, instead of encouraging girls to get high education and being self-empowered, parents would encourage their girls to find a rich husband as the shortcut to be rich. This culture, though, is now slowly shifted to the other direction. Maybe women finally realized that finding a rich-without-being-corrupt husband (and keep him in your arms without having to share him with another woman) is not that easy either :D. No less harder than pursuing a master degree then working in a multinational company. :D

About the lazy accusation, maybe these commentators should mingle with some women who are the labors of factories, for example. I am sure they will think twice before calling lazy to women who work for one shift (7 hours), and sometimes two shifts (14 hours) in a day, while they also still have to take care of the kids, if they have kids, or taking care of their old parents if they still live with the parents. They can't afford to be lazy as being lazy means they won’t have anything to eat. I work for a large organization that employs about 50.000 people, almost half of those are hardworking female employees. Right. Maybe the commentators don’t talk about that Indonesian girls.

Another thing some commentators said is that Indonesian women mostly do not want to take care of their children and rely entirely on their maids or babysitters to do so. Ouch! Now I feel offended. While it’s true that some women love to hire a babysitter and let them take care of the children while they are busy shopping or hanging out with friends, most Indonesian women that I know are crazy about their kids and cannot afford a babysitter to begin with. And finding a good maid or babysitter is not that easy either. Unless you’re a kind of mother with the attitude “I don’t care what happens to my kids as long as they are still alive”, finding a good maid or babysitter is a long and winding road.

I, for example, had to go through ups and downs in having maids till finally came to the point where it was only “me and husband against the world”. My first maid was a nice girl, hardworking and discipline, but she quit after a few months working for me because she was marrying her boyfriend who was a bus driver in Jakarta. My second maid had to get fired because she lied too much, even pretended to sleep-walking while she actually had a rendezvous with her boyfriend somewhere in the night. My third maid was a nice old lady who was very good in taking care of the house, but she stopped working because she was too old and often got sick. And my last maid, who had been working for me for about two years, broke my heart when in one gloomy afternoon she asked my permission to be a TKW in Saudi Arabia. Arrghh…. stopped having maid ever since.

Anyway, I don’t know if I have the right to feel offended by the comments in “Dating Indonesian Girls” thread since I am not into “dating” and I am no longer a “girl”. But since that thread talks about “Indonesia”, I still have my right to put my opinion here, don’t I? Besides, that thread is too tempting to not respond to :D

Brisbane Flood

2011-01-16T22:01:00.000-08:00

Isn’t it heartbreaking when you hear the news that the place you've ever lived in was hit by natural disaster? This is what I experienced when the place I used to live in Pangalengan, South Bandung, was hit by severe earthquake, about one year after I left the place to move to the head office in the downtown of Bandung. The house where I used to stay collapsed during that disaster. It was sad, though I am also grateful that I no longer lived in that house when the disaster took place.

Flash flood in Queensland, Australia, is another disaster that sends me almost the same feeling. I've ever lived in several places in Brisbane during my studying at UQ. I spent a few weeks in Toowong, eight months in Indooroopilly, and about one and half years in two different places in St Lucia where UQ is located. These places, along with lots of other areas in Brisbane were hit by a massive flood in the beginning of this year. I still have some vivid memories about the places where I used to hang around during my staying there. The campus, the shops, the river banks, even the memorable bus stops :) and ferry wharfs which I think are now inundated by the massive flood. Probably I'd better let the pictures speak for themselves. Credits to Couriermail

UQ Bus Stop

Toowong

Indooroopilly

Even in the flood, the view from South bank is still beautiful

A shop in Ipswich : maintain the sense of humor even in the hard time :)

My deep condolences for people who died on the Queensland flood, and my deep empathy for people who lost the loved ones or still have to stay in evacuation centres. I hope the lovely Brisbane, and Queensland more broadly, will soon get back to normal though the damage will probably take some years to fully recover.

Contemplation on Being Sick

2011-01-10T19:40:00.000-08:00

Photo credit : Everydaypeoplecartoons

I am sick (again). It is just a flu but enough to drain my energy level. If I could negotiate, I would choose to be sick in some other times instead of in the beginning of the year. Right now I have no luxury to be sick. The work is demanding, some new tasks are waiting for me and the team to be done. My children start the new semester and need more of my involvement in their school subjects. But there is no such thing as the best time to be sick, is there?

Then I come to think that rather than cursing the obnoxious virus which dare to intrude my immune system, why don’t I try to see it from the brighter side? The good thing of being sick, it kind of inspires me to make some resolutions for a better life. I’ve never made any resolution for new years because the probability of failure is usually higher than the probability of success, and making no promise is better than breaking a promise :). But for the sake of my health I have to make some resolutions, regardless of whether I am going to be able to keep it or otherwise. So, here is my self reflection and list of things that I will do soon after I am back in my superb condition:

I was lack of exercise. The work, the kids, and the household errands lead me to the utterance of “I have no time” anytime I need an excuse to skip the regular exercises. I think I will start to walk and jog regularly from now on. Time is always there, if we can manage and use it wisely.

I didn’t eat proper meal in proper times, and never really paid attention to the diet balance. I have to eat better from now on, consume more healthy food and less junk to detoxify my body, as well as detoxify my mind by consuming more healthy food for thought.

I had irregular time for sleep. There were times when I stayed awake during most times of the night, and there were times when I slept like a snake having its hibernation period. My passion for the goddamn internet :) is somehow responsible for it. I have to have more regular sleep from now on, like in the old times when internet was far from ruling my life.

The last and more important point: I wasn’t grateful enough for my health. Only when I am sick I realize that it’s really great to be healthy and I should be more grateful for it. Only when I am sick I realize that even the simple thing like cuddling my daughters, which I can not do right now for the fear of passing the virus on them, is a bliss that I truly miss. Being sick, my body is given an opportunity to have a rest, and after recovering from sickness I hope I’ll get fresh energy to catch up on whatever I’ve lost.

Life, wait for me…I am coming….

Aa Gym is just Human After All

2011-01-05T17:49:00.000-08:00

Photo credit : Tabloid Nova

I have a special connection with Aa Gym (Abdullah Gymnastiar), one of the most well known Islamic preachers in Indonesia. Not because he is my friend, relative, or spiritual mentor, but it is because he bought a piece of land located next to my house here in Bandung which he visits once in a while, though I've never met him in person. See how strongly we are connected? :) Well, the point I am trying to make is that people often feel connected with someone they admire, even though they never know the real personality of the person in question. They put a high expectation on him/her, but at the end their hopes are shattered because the person is not as perfect as they expected.

That’s exactly what happened with Aa Gym. He used to be well known as an excellent preacher, a successful businessman, a great husband for his wife and a loving father for his children. An almost perfect man according to his fans. His place in Geger Kalong, Bandung, used to be full packed with people who wanted to listen to his preach and get some enlightenment from such an inspiring man.

But it all came to an end when Aa Gym decided to have a second wife. Most of his fans (mostly housewives) turned their backs and labeled him as hypocrite. My lady neighbor emotionally said, "I won’t come to his preach again 'cause it's very disappointing to have someone I admire doing polygamy. It doesn’t only hurt the feeling of his first wife but it hurts the feeling of all women being. And more worryingly, as an influential man in society he can motivate other men to do the same thing...". I nodded my head like million times and had to hide my chuckle while listening to her ramble, imagining how much longer she would have rambled on if it had been her own husband who’d had another wife :).

Aa Gym’s business has been going down ever since that “blissful tragedy” took place, even the mosque that he built on the land next to my house has never been quite finished because lack of finance. His face disappeared from television except for some infotainment programs. It’s bewildering that what happened to his marriage could affect the other aspects of his life so badly. It is like if someone’s marriage is shattered, especially if he is a public figure, then the other aspects of his life are destined to be doomed as well.

And when time heals and Aa Gym is slowly regaining his popularity by appearing on television and giving some preaches (with lesser number of fans of course), in the beginning of this year he, once again, made a controversial news by getting a divorce from his first wife. It is sad indeed, and once again people denounce him. I haven’t met and had a chance to gossiping with my dear neighbor, but I am sure she has been preparing a longer speech to condemn Aa Gym this time. :)

Well, Aa Gym indeed makes some mistakes in his life. But who doesn’t? If he and his wife(s) think that it is the best path for their life, who are we telling them what to do? A preacher is just human after all. There is no guarantee that all he does and says is perfect according to human being. Maybe it is the people who idolize him too much. Or it might give a lesson that people should look less at “who is speaking” and pay more attention to the substance of “what is spoken” instead. And finally, the moral of this story: Never walk in anyone’s shadow, because shadow can only appear when you walk through the light. If the person you follow walks through the darkness, the shadow will disappear and you’ll be lost.

My Love-Hate Letter to Angkot* Drivers

2010-12-29T21:02:00.000-08:00

(*Angkot or angkutan kota is the most widely used public transport in Bandung)

Dear angkot drivers….

First of all, I’d like to thank you for giving me an alternative mode of transportation with relatively cheap fare and easy access because you pass in front of my house everyday. And I thank you for setting me free from the trouble in finding parking space and giving me the luxury to be able to "bengong" (sit with a blank mind) during the trip, which is an impossible thing to do if I take my own car.

However, I’d like to file a complaint about your behaviors that often give me unease, infuriating, though sometimes funny experiences.

One of your annoying behaviors is that you always say that your angkot is "empty", no matter how full of passengers your car is inside. One day I stopped an angkot and you persuasively said, "It’s empty, Ma’am", while the space left was actually only fit for half of my butt (I am relatively slim with 158 cm height and 48 kg weight, in case you wonder). Since I already got in and the car was hurriedly moved forward, I had no choice than praying that one passenger will get off soon so I can take his/her space and rest my legs which were shaking from supporting the other half of my butt.

Another thing I find very annoying is when your car sometimes does not take the full destined route. You just drop the passengers on the way for some trivial reasons and ask us to take another angkot instead. One day, you did this because there was a traffic jam ahead which you didn’t want to go through and choose to take a u-turn instead. Another day, you dropped me on the way because there was only one passenger left in the car so you thought it was not economically viable to run the car till the final destination with only one passenger left (you must have gotten a high score in your economic subject back then). In one occasion, you asked all passengers to move to another angkot because your car ran out of gasoline on the way. Very clever, didn’t you check the fuel meter? And in another occasion, I had to get off the car on the way because you just remembered that there was a wedding invitation you had to attend. How could you!?

And I hate your habit of “ngetem” or stopping for a while in the middle of the way to gather some more passengers. I wouldn’t mind if it only takes a few minutes for you to shout out or blare the horn to invite some passengers to your car. But if you just stop your car completely, even manage to have a coffee and cigarettes while waiting till your car is full of passengers? That’s mean! How if we are in a hurry or in an emergency situation? I know, I know, you would just ask us to go find some other vehicles or go to hell.

And nothing is more infuriating when we know that you, who should take the responsibility for the safety of the passengers, do not seem to care at all about this. Let me ask, what’s with the habit of counting money while driving? You can pull over for a while and count how much money you earn that day rather than putting our life at stake by doing that silly multitasking job. And stop the texting or telephoning while driving! I know your wife was probably suspicious that you were flirting with a passenger so she kept calling you, but you could ask her to wait. FYI, there is already a regulation that will charge you a fine if you are telephoning while driving. And nothing is more bizarre than what I once witnessed: you were shaving your beard while driving! Crazy, crazy.

Well, angkot drivers…

I know life is a bitch and you just try to earn a humble amount of cash to provide for your family. But please remember, if you provide a better service and do everything with “ikhlas” for your passengers, we, in return will love you more and perhaps together we can make our life better.

Silver Lining in the Dark Cloud

2010-12-27T16:02:00.000-08:00

Photo credit : windows2universe

The last Christmas holiday (a three-day weekend) was a not-so-happy holiday for me and the kids. Even though they managed to get good results in their school reports, (we’re so proud of you, darling), we couldn’t celebrate that by taking them somewhere this holiday.

I and my children were sick. It all started by me having a throat inflammation and a fever. Then it spread to my youngest daughter. We had to take her to hospital because of high fever. The next day, my eldest also had a fever and vomiting two times in the morning. So, there we were, three of us lying in our room, making the most out of holiday from bed. I contemplated that it was probably the way it was meant to be. I was sick during the holiday, because had I been sick on work days, I wouldn’t have been able to devote all my concentration to take care of myself as well as the kids. There is always a silver lining in a dark cloud, isn’t there?

But that’s not the only reason we spent holiday at home. Had I and daughters not been sick during the holiday, we still wouldn’t have gone anywhere because of financial reason. We have no budget for holiday after spending for some unexpected expenses this month. Thank God my children are not demanding. Even though we just stay at home for the whole days, my youngest said, "It’s okay, Mom. I like being home. There is traffic jam everywhere, anyway!". And she was right. The traffic jam was unbearable during that kind of long weekend. Even the road in front of my house, which is an alternative road for people who take the route to Lembang and Subang, was busier than usual with so many cars passing by. Staying at home during this holiday was not a bad idea at all.

Thankfully, on Sunday everything was back to normal. My kids recovered, and I felt better and better, only still fought with some mucus continuously produced by my throat. We then spent the last evening of holiday by watching football on television. It was the final between Indonesia versus Malaysia in the AFF Suzuki Cup tournament. The result of the game was 3-0 for Malaysia. Very disappointing, but not surprising at all. With all the euphoria and incredibly high expectation for Indonesian National Team players, especially because of the worsening bilateral relationship between Indonesia and Malaysia lately, their psychological burden was unbearable (correct me if I am wrong :) ).

But even if Indonesia cannot manage to be the champion, I think a lot of people in Indonesia should be thankful for being benefited by this tournament. The newspaper producers have increased their sales by selling news about this tournament, the TV stations have increased their program ratings by displaying the selling points of some players (I honestly never paid any attention to the National Team before the cute face of Irfan Bachdim was caught in my eyes), some advertisement agencies have used the tournament and the National Team as the theme for their commercials, the travel agents have sold more tickets to Malaysia for the National Team supporters, the T-shirt sellers in Pasar Kosambi, Bandung, have increased their sales by selling a huge amount of the imitation of National Team’s red T-shirts. And more generally, Indonesians can forget about the sickening cases of corruption and bribery for a while. See? There is a silver lining even in the darkest cloud.

If people are expecting that in final second leg Indonesian National Team will play better, I am just hoping that in the next holiday my health and finance condition will be better. :D

Kids at Work

2010-12-19T18:35:00.000-08:00

Photo credit: toonpool

On Friday night my boss called me. Right, a call from your boss is the last thing you would expect on Friday night, really. He told me that he would have an official trip on Sunday, and unfortunately, there was a report I had to prepare to support the purpose of the trip. He asked me, nicely, if I could do it on Saturday, so he could pick it up at the office on the way to the airport on Sunday. Because all materials for the report were at the office, there was no way I would be able to do it at home.

On the other hand, I had been planning to spend the weekend with the kids and there was no way I would spoil their days. In order not to lose my quality time with them, then I decided to take my kids to work. I remembered that they had been begging to see my work place. Besides, I thought they are big enough, 9 years old and 7 years old, and I would be working alone at the office. How bad could it be if I took them along with me?

But it was apparently a bad decision. First, I lost my concentration because they didn’t stop asking me questions while I was working. Some questions that I can recall were: “Whose desk is this?”, “Whose picture is that?”, “Where is your boss’ desk?”, “Is he married?”, “Is he nice or grumpy?” etc, etc.

And when I thought that they would sit nicely watching me working, well, I was wrong. They kept observing, or inspecting, from one desk to another. And since there were a lot of cable installations between the desks, I couldn’t stop worrying if they might get electricity shock and gave me heart attack.

And when I finally (thank God!) finished the report and was ready to print it, my daughters insisted on helping me feeding the papers to the printer. And because the printer is not quite user friendly, I ended up struggling with paper jam! Oh, my…

But I was glad to see that they had a good time in my office and making them understand about what I do when I am away from them on Monday to Friday. And I never felt so proud in my life when my eldest gave me appreciation by saying “You seem to do a hard job, Mom. They should pay you higher salary for this”. I grinned. It’s amazing to see how a child’s mind works sometimes

Women, Use Your Fullest Potential

2010-12-16T17:06:00.000-08:00

Photo Credit : 123rf

An acquaintance of mine, a nice lady in her forties, was recently becoming a widow. Her husband passed away from the complication of diabetes and high blood pressure. When I met her to offer my condolences, she told me that the hardest part of coping with the death of her husband is the untimely passing of him. He was in comma for one night in the hospital and then passed away. She didn’t have a chance to talk to him, to apologize for any wrongdoing she ever made to her husband, or even to tell him that she loved him. Being a career woman and having a middle rank position in one big company, she sometimes had no time to nurture her relationship with her husband. She was overwhelmed by the sad and guilty feeling, although she was also grateful that by having a job and career, she would be able to survive financially in raising her children without a husband.

Although in many cases it depends on person and situation, if I am allowed to generalize a little bit, for Indonesian women, no matter how high the career they can achieve with their capability, the traditional values that the primary responsibility of a wife is to take care of her husband and her children is still strongly attached to them. That’s why even though gender equality has been felt in most areas of life, a lot of women are still facing dilemma about the path they should take. Some friends of mine just throw away their potential because lack of support from their spouses, some friends cannot go to work because they still have babies and little children, but some of them throw it away simply because they feel no need to earn for a living because they are fully supported by their husbands. I think that’s a shame.

Then I contemplate my own experience. When my children were still babies, I decided to quit work and depended financially on my husband. I put all my energy to raise my babies, didn’t want to miss my babies’ first words and first steps. But when my youngest daughter had almost reached two years old, I decided to get back to work. In the first years of me getting back to work, it was hard to find the balance between job and family. Everyday I missed my children terribly, especially when I had to stay out of town. Through the years, I learn to be more organized, and my husband learns to be more supportive. We learn to share our responsibilities, not based on gender, but rather based on competitive and comparative advantage. We do what we are good at.

So far so good. In fact, I feel that I’ve made a right decision by being a working mom. The first reason is that by having a job I can be financially independent. In Indonesia where there is no support, whatsoever, for single mothers, it’s important for a woman to be ready for the worst case scenario like what was experienced by my lady friend above. Second, I can expand my knowledge and networking by learning new things everyday. Third, my children turn to be more independent and self reliant. And last, when marriage brings me down (I am sure everybody reaches low points in their marriage once in a while), or like a friend put it “my husband feels more and more like part of the furniture rather than part of the future”, work can be a nice temporary escape from the situation. Trust me, after long working hours, a simple smile and “Hi!” from your husband feels like an oasis on a dessert, and your annoying husband is felt much, much better than your grumpy, demanding boss :D.

Having said all that, whether a woman chooses to have a career outside home or otherwise, I think Indonesian women should choose whatever is best for them, as long as it can utilize their fullest potential. Women have all the rights to choose whatever path in their life: they have options to be a single woman, a married woman, a single career woman, a career housewife, a working from home housewife, a housewife with part time job, a single mother with a career, etc, etc. While men are only left with two options available: get a job or die :D. Kidding, guys.

Super Kids Camp

2010-12-15T00:55:00.000-08:00

As part of our responsibilities as parents, we try our best to stay beside the children through bad times and good times in their life. Having a school picnic is one of these good times that we can’t afford to miss :). This time, SKC (Super Kids Camp) in Jatinangor, Sumedang, is their destination.

While the cute brats were having a good time (laughing, talking and singing were definitely on the to-do list) in their bus, we, the miserable parents were following them in our car, feeling sleepy as they excitedly woke us up at 4 a.m and feeling hungry as we skipped the breakfast. No brekkie since they kept telling us that they were gonna be late if we ever, ever touched the dining table.

It was good that the bus took the highway route so we can avoid traffic jam. It took about one and half hours drive from our place in northern part of Bandung to arrived at the place which is strategically located at only about a few kilometers from Cileunyi toll gate.

As the name implies, Super Kids Camp looks like the small version of a training camp, with outbound facilities like flying fox, monkey bar, several ponds to soak the children in, small raft, a shaking bridge (the kind of bridge that shakes when you walk on it) and some other games that I can’t exactly remember. Here are some pictures of how the kids were having a good time and ended up being truly filthy dirty.

Flying Fox. Wow, it was high!

Mini rafting. Maintain your balance or it will flip over

Mini flying fox. A warming up before the real flying fox

Don't be afraid to get wet. Catch the fish!

Bye Bye My Car

2010-12-08T00:03:00.000-08:00

Photo credit : Philippe Tastet

I have a car and a motorcycle. Those two vehicles are God-sent guardian angels for me since we rely heavily on them to go to work, take the children to school, and do other mobile activities. But started from 2011, I think I have to use the car less. Why? The government decided to prevent private cars from using subsidized fuel, which means we have to spend about 40% higher from the current budget to keep ‘em running. Tough, eh? I start considering to “bike to work”. But with the frequent flood on the road in Bandung because of poor drainage, “boat to work” would probably be a better option. :)

For the background, Indonesia has been struggling with the usage of energy, especially fuel for vehicles. There have been various policies applied in trial and error mode, including increasing the price, lowering the price prior to the election to get public sympathy, giving subsidy, reducing the subsidy, altering the subsidy in the form of direct aid for the poor, etc, etc.

This time, the reason for the limitation is that 53% of the total volume of subsidized fuel is so far consumed by private cars. Ergo, according to the government, the easiest way to save the use of subsidized fuel is by preventing private cars from using it. Subsidized fuel is only allowed for public transports and motorcycle. They said let the poor, not the rich who can afford to buy private cars, enjoy the subsidized fuel. Yeah, our govt is very kind, understanding and caring to the poor..… in my dream!

By limiting this subsidized fuel, I don’t think the poor will be benefited at all. They may not have to pay higher price for fuel because they can enjoy subsidized fuel if they use motorcycle or public transport, but they will still endure its impact to the nation's economy. As a result of this limitation of subsidized fuel, the production costs of basic goods will increase, the prices will roar up, people’s affordability will decline, the poor will be poorer and poorer.

They said that the subsidy can then be diverted to build infrastructures for health, education, and public transportation. My restless mind, as always, starts to suspiciously wonder: Oh, really? Will the budget be truly allocated to those things and there is no chance for it to be corrupted? Will the citizens be better off by having those facilities than having subsidized fuel? If it’s true that the budget is diverted in a responsible manner, will the facilities be proportionally distributed throughout the country? How long will we have to wait till we can enjoy those facilities? And for the meantime, what can the govt do to help us coping with the sudden increase in cost of living?

IMHO, there are actually some steps govt can take before taking this drastic move, if they do not just try to find an easy way out. They can save the use of fuel by limiting the number of new vehicles per year, especially cars with big cc, by the mechanism of tax or others. They can change people’s behavior regarding the use of fuel by, say, strictly applying “three-in-one” policy that requires people to have at least three passengers in the car when they pass certain lanes. It can be an effective measure to educate people to use car in an efficient manner if they do not give a chance for people to use “jockeys” (extra passengers who help drivers having three people in their cars by getting paid). Or they can gradually reduce the fuel subsidy, and put serious effort in facilitating research for producing the best alternative energy instead.

No wonder people make a speculation that govt is actually applying this policy under the request of foreign private petrol companies like Shell and Petronas, in order for them to be able to compete and have a profitable business here in Indonesia, if people can no more use the subsidized fuel. Is that true? Hmmm……

A Weapon Against Bullying

2010-11-29T18:21:00.000-08:00

Photo credit : Livebullyfree

My daughter was a victim of bullying. When she was in the first grade of elementary school, in almost every afternoon when I came home from work, she would tell me about how her friend bullied her. It was not physical bullying, like my kid was beaten or something, but was enough to drive me crazy. This little girl friend of her, just call her Little Miss Meany, often asked for my daughter’s money, asked my daughter to buy her food, or asked her to give an answer during the tests. And what really got my nerve was when this girl did a "conspiracy" with another student, just call her Little Miss ‘D’, to frame my girl. They hid one of their friend’s shoes then told the teacher that my girl did it. Were they little criminals or what?

I spoke to the teacher about this, and it was responded by the promise like “Oh, all right, we’re gonna pay more attention to them”. But did anything happen? No. I then intended to talk to this girl or her parents, but after taking some time pondering, it occurred to me that the problem of bullying cannot always be solved by parents but rather by the kids themselves. If I can solve the problem by talking to Little Miss Meany or her parents, there is no guarantee that no other kids will bully my daughter again, and again. Do I have to talk to each of them? It would be like a never ending job.

So, this is what I eventually decided to do: I equipped my children with a weapon, the LOVE weapon. I spoke to my daughter as much as I could, that “We love you very much. You are very precious, too precious to be bullied. We will do anything to protect you, but sometimes you have to stand up and speak out for yourself. Nobody can hurt you if you don’t let them”. I repeated this thing over and over like some magic spells. It is not that we never showed our love and affection before, but I wanted to make sure that she knew how worthwhile she was.

And it apparently worked. Slowly, Little Miss Meany stopped bullying my daughter. Everyday I talked with my daughter to make some kind of evaluation, and she told me that anytime that girl threatened her by saying something like “If you don’t give me money, I will tell other friends not to play with you” or “If you don’t give me the answer I will tell D’s mother to arrest you. She is a police officer”, or other threats that can actually send me laughter in a good mood, my daughter just walked away and ignored her completely. Or if this Little Miss Meany was so persistent with what she wanted, my daughter would speak up and confront her cause she realized that she was too precious to be bullied. Her self esteem was apparently boosted by my magic spells. :)

Now they are in the third grade and I am happy for them becoming good friends. When my kid was sick and absent from school, this Little Miss Meany (who is not so mean anymore) even called her to ask if she was okay and let her know about the homework from the teacher. Good girl.

I don’t know how other parents handle the bullying issue when it happens to their kids. But so far in my case, I find that boosting the self esteem of our kids by showing them that they are dearly loved can be an absolute weapon against bullying of any kind.

Tax Hurts

2010-11-25T00:32:00.000-08:00

Photo credit : glasbergen

Yesterday I was asked by my boss to join the tax socialization meeting in my office with speakers from the regional tax office. The topic was actually not new at all, which was the application of PPh (Pajak Penghasilan, income tax) articles 21, 23 and 4 (2). I listened tentatively but couldn’t help giggling when my friend who sat beside me whispered that one of the tax officers really look like Gayus, the suspect in tax mafia case. And she was right. If only we could find a wig for him.

Back to the topic, it seems that we’re haunted by taxes in every aspect of our life. Every cent we gain is subject to income tax, every product we buy is subject to value added tax, and every asset we posses is subject to property tax. Hooo… you can run but you can’t hide. Not only that we have to pay, but we have to struggle with the hassle to fill in the forms, the long queue in tax office, and the potentiality to pay penalty if the payment is late. Yeah, if only the discipline of taxpayers is followed by the discipline of tax officers to use tax money only for the right purposes, I wouldn’t mind at all.

Another annoying thing for me is how people in charge make the tax calculation so complicated. Different rule and formula is applied for slightly different condition. The tax applied for private workers is different with the tax for enterprise. The tax for construction work is different from that for agriculture or other fields. The tax for enterprise with certificate from association is different with the ones without certificate. The tax for continuous job is different with that for intermittent job, and so on, and so forth. Gosh, why can’t they just make it any simpler? And it is even more complicated when they keep changing the rules and formulas from time to time. Don’t they have anything better to do?

And during that meeting in my office, it was disappointing that a lot of questions asked by the attendees, including myself, couldn’t be answered clearly by these tax officers. I don’t know if they were really puzzled by our questions or they deliberately create the “grey area” for certain purpose. Somehow I wonder if the tax calculation is deliberately made complicated because every mistake we make brings a consequence of penalty, or higher payment of tax. Yeah, that’s clever.

Anyway, after people painstakingly make calculation and pay a substantial amount of taxes, then where does all the tax money go? Tanyakan saja pada rumput yang bergoyang (just ask the swaying grass). :D

Take a Bow, Then Take a Vow

2010-11-23T19:25:00.000-08:00

Next week, one of my friends is getting married. Unlike the other weddings, this one is very special because this wedding is like the ending chapter of a previously thought never ending story. This friend of mine has been going through some adventurous journeys, been ups and downs, been sweating and bleeding in searching for true love. She has had to put up with jealous wives, nosy colleagues, angry bosses, even been moved from one office division to another, all due to her relationship with “the wrong man at the wrong place”. And not just for once. All in the name of love.

I honestly think that the price she pays is too expensive for this so-called love. Being single, she has a chance to have a happy and healthy relationship, why choose the drama? Having affairs with married people is wrong, with big W. And nothing, including loneliness, boredom and depression, can be the excuses to justify it.

Sometimes I talked to her that she’d better focus on her life and her career than desperately seeking for a partner. I think she is too obsessed and deluded by the exoticism of marriage. Single people actually have more opportunity to do things married people can’t do, and still be happy. Why busy fulfilling the requirement from society to enter an institution with the probability of failure is as high as the probability of success? Maybe I should’ve told her that over 75% of people who marry partners from an affair eventually divorce.

And talking about gossip, oh my, I wonder what kind of drug I should use to have the same level of stubbornness my friend has in coping with all gossips about her. And it’s annoying sometimes that some gossipers only dare to speak behind her back and tend to blame her and her alone for having those affairs. Excuse me, but doesn’t it take two to tango? How about the men that she has dated with? They should be the ones to blame in the first place for cheating from their wives and betraying the marriage institution. At least my friend didn’t cheat from her partner. Or, how if these men were unhappy with their married life to begin with? Then it takes three to tango because the wife is counted in. I mean, life is not that black and white. There is something that’s more complicated inside than it looks on the outside.

Anyway, it’s time for her to take a bow because the show is over, and time for her to take a vow to start a new chapter of life. I am glad that she finally finds the right (single) man, and really wish that she will find happiness with the one that truly loves her. Just wonder what the gossipers will do about it since the most fascinating gossipee has given up giving them entertainment. I guess they have to find another object of gossiping. Hopefully not me.

Baby, I am Home

2010-11-22T18:19:00.000-08:00

Going home always has a positive connotation for me, maybe because I am a “homy” person. Everywhere I go, I always look forward to coming home. When I was a little kid, the school dismissal time was always a joyful moment for me because it was time to go home. When I left home to go to college in another city, once in a month or so I always spent time to go home, simply to enjoy the meal made by my grandma, or to lie down in my old room. Even now, nothing is more joyful to me than going home from work to hug and kiss my two little girls.

Meanwhile, what does “going home” mean for other people in Indonesia? Well, going home had a very expensive consequence for Gayus Tambunan, a suspect in tax manipulation case. He has been in detention since July 2010, but managed to leave the prison cell 68 times since he stayed there by bribing the officials. The chief of the Mobile Brigade`s detention center admitted that he has received totally 368 million rupiahs from Gayus. That’s a large amount, I tell you, about 10 times of a year’s salary of an average fresh graduate in Indonesia!.

Photo credit : fotounik

Not only he escaped to go home, he also went to Bali with his family. And funnily, he tried but failed to be in disguise by wearing a wig and glasses when he watched a tennis tournament in Bali. In the court, he shed tears and pleaded that he went home because he missed his kids and wife so much.

Of course, Mr. Tambunan, going home has a beautiful meaning for all of us. And not being able to go home must be miserable for you as it is for all of us. But that’s what punishment is all about. And oh, next time, consult a hairstylist first before you pick a wig. With a round face like yours, that wig only make your face rounder and made you very easy to be recognized. Try the spike hairstyle, perhaps?

Going home must have a very deep meaning for Sumiati, a TKW (female migrant labour) that got beaten up and tortured by her employer in Saudi Arabia. After having been tortured for 4 months and is under the medical treatment in hospital at the moment, going home alive and sane must be the biggest hope for her and her family. Sumiati was not alone. There have been a lot of violent cases toward Indonesian female unskilled labours who work abroad. Some even couldn’t make it to go home because they were murdered. It's sad that they did not get protection that they deserved.

Ladies, go home, work here in your country instead of putting your life at stake there. By working here you can skip all the immigration hassle and go home anytime something bad happens. A lot of good people here would like to hire you if you’re honest, willing to work hard, and not too blinded by big salary, of course.

Now, what does going home mean for people who stay in the slopes of Merapi volcano after the eruption? After the danger zone was narrowed by the authority to radius 5-15 kilometers from the crater, thousands of villagers started to leave the evacuation area to go home. And in case you wonder what their “home” look like, here is the picture:

Photo credit : Almustamany

Maybe they are overwhelmed by the mix of happy and sad feelings to go home this time. Since most of them earn a living by practicing agriculture and cattle farming, they sure can’t help pondering: God, what am I gonna do here? How am I gonna feed my family with this infertile land, dead plants, dead cattle and dead pasture? How are my children gonna go to school and get their normal life back?

My deep empathy for you, people. Let’s hope that the government will fulfill their promise this time to relocate you and give reimbursement for the dead cattle so you can use the money to start a new life. While all we can do is sharing a small amount of charity, there are actually people with the biggest responsibility to take care of you. Be cooperative.

Going home can have different meanings and bring different feelings for everyone. But for better or worse, in good times or bad times, home is always a place that we’re all longing for.

A Little Note From Paris Van Java

2010-11-21T23:24:00.000-08:00

Photo credit : Mummygwen

Last Friday, as usual I left office a bit early. The working hour in my office is 7 am to 5 pm (10 hours) everyday and the employees can leave early (1 pm) on Friday, if there is not crucial tasks, of course. I usually take advantage of that to spend time for myself. That day I decided to visit Paris Van Java Mall, not for shopping, just to visit my favourite bookstore, checking if there is an interesting book I can buy if it is not too expensive or I just read on the spot if the book is expensive (poor me, haha…)

For a little bit of background, Paris van Java is one of big malls in Bandung, very spacious and convenient for shopping, eating or watching cinemas. The place was built with the combination of modern and traditional setting like the combination of ceramic and wood floor, carving decorations, engraved lamps, small fountains, etc. That’s why this place is loved not only by the Bandung citizens but by domestic and foreign tourists as well.

Soon as I got there I blended with other visitors in this shopping center. But there was a couple that apparently attracted the attention most. The couple was a white man with an Indonesian woman. The man was very tall even according to the Caucasian standard, while the lady was relatively short according to the average height of Indonesian women. They held each other so close while walking slowly along the mall.

There was nothing so special about the view, actually, but not according to some shop attendants. They tried but failed to refrain themselves from giggling when their friends muttered some words softly, among which I could clearly catch “oh, they look like satu koma”, which was the reason I turned around and saw them in the beginning. “Satu koma” means “one point” ( 1, ) as a joking phrase used to describe a couple that has a big differentiation in height. Another joking phrase is “angka sepuluh” or “number ten” ( 10 ) to describe a couple that has a big differentiation in weight.

I am sure these shop attendants only made fun to kill their boring time, and normally I would giggle along when we make fun of our close friends using these phrases. But at that time I felt there was nothing so funny about it, maybe because I am getting older and wiser (ahem!). In fact, I wanted to shout at them: "Oh, come on, this couple are in love (at least that's what I saw), they are enjoying each other’s company, and most importantly they are not disturbing anyone. Mind your own business!"

But then again, I can’t entirely blame these shop attendants. Give them more chance to get a better education and they might stop making such a fun of the difference in races, height, weight, religion, or any other people’s personal issues. Sigh… even people with high education and worldly view still do it sometimes.

Let’s Go Green

2010-11-14T19:15:00.000-08:00

Photo credit: kapanlagi

In case you wonder about the girl whose picture I put above, that’s Tina Talisa, the gorgeous television presenter in Indonesia. But if you think that I am going to talk about her or other girls in this post, sorry to disappoint you, because I am in the mood to write something we can do to save our beloved planet: the use of green energy. Gotcha! :)

What has Tina Talisa got to do with green energy? Well, last Friday I was sent by the office to participate in the seminar and panel discussion about green energy in Jakarta Convention Center. The keynote speakers were some important decision makers who are responsible for the application of green energy in Indonesia and some businessmen in that field, while Tina Talisa was the moderator in that discussion.

With the increasingly high price and scarcity of fossil fuel, renewable energy / green energy is one among other ways to overcome the problem of energy crisis and global warming. Personally, I fully support the application of green energy, or bioenergy in this matter, which is the energy sourced from plants that can take the form of biofuel, biomass and biogas. Bioenergy is the only form of renewable energy that do not only give alternative for fossil fuel, but the plants as the energy source can provide all the environmental benefit for the earth. Superb! Brazil is one success story with its application of biofuel from sugarcane.

But why oh why, even though it has been discussed and brought up in international conferences like Kyoto Protocol, Bali Road Map, Pittsburgh G20 Summit, and has been given incentives through the mechanism of CDM, REDD, and so on and so forth, the application of bioenergy in Indonesia is more like a slogan than reality? During that discussion in Jakarta Convention Center, in the midst of rather boring babbles from the speakers (yawn!) I drew a conclusion about some problems that impede the application of bioenergy in Indonesia (sorry Tina, it should be your job), i.e. lack of coordination, lack of knowledge, and lack of finance.

There is lack of coordination between the on-farm and off-farm activities of bioenergy, or there is an imbalance between supply and demand. Taking example of the case of Jatropha curcas as the source for biofuel in Indonesia, the effort to plant Jatropha was not synchronized with the mandatory of selling biofuel for Pertamina (the national oil and natural gas mining company). There was no incentive for the farmers to plant Jatropha as there was no market guarantee and certainty in price for it. The planting of Jatropha, therefore, was abandoned and caused financial loss to the producers.

The second problem is lack of knowledge. Not only that the quality of biofuel produced should meet the international standard requirement, the application of biofuel needs proper technology in its mixing process with fossil fuel. Even though the researchers are now catching up with this technology, this lack of knowledge resulting in lag in application of biofuel due to higher budget needed for high investment in mixing equipment.

Lack of finance is another issue, since the production cost of biofuel is still high and economically unviable according to the calculation on the paper. But this can be overcome by giving subsidy. If the govt can give increasingly high subsidy for fossil fuel year by year, why not for biofuel? This might be expensive now, but if the fossil fuel is getting scarcer and the price is getting higher, the cost of bioenergy is relatively getting cheaper, let alone if we include the environmental benefit from it.

Well, beside the internal problems, there are other factors impeding the application of biofuel worldwide and affecting Indonesia as well. There was a campaign against oil palm plantation as it is claimed to be the reason of deforestation and increase the global warming due to the excessive use of fertilizer. A better practice is certainly needed if biofuel from palm oil becomes the choice. For the edible plants like sorghum, corn or sugarcane, there is a competition between their usage for biofuel production vs food production.

All of them are the homeworks for Indonesia, to do better and learn from failure in the past. I am sure if we’re all committed to save our planet and produce more environmentally friendly energy, no matter how little our contribution is, we can do something to save the world, for us now and for the next generation in the future.

Now, to give it a bit of balance, while I’ve put a picture of a gorgeous girl in the beginning of this post, I’ll also put the picture of a gorgeous guy, Choki Sitohang, another famous television presenter in Indonesia.

Photo credit: kapanlagi

What has Choky Sitohang got to do with green energy? Absolutely nothing. I just like him! LOL.

Akhirnya Datang Juga

2010-11-10T01:56:00.001-08:00

Photo credit : detiknews

We had a television show in Indonesia titled Akhirnya Datang Juga, an adapted television show from Australia's Thank God You're Here.

What I am going to write has nothing to do with the show but I think that phrase can be very suitably used to welcome President Barrack Obama on his visit to Indonesia. Yes, after twice cancellation of his visits to Indonesia due to various reasons, he finally made it on Tuesday, 9 Nov 2010. Although Mr Obama only spent less than one day (22 hours), much less than the time he is going to spend in other Asian countries like Japan and Korea during this official trip, that’s enough to fulfill his promise to visit Indonesia. Akhirnya datang juga.

Despite of all the controversy regarding race, nationality and religion issues behind his presidency, Obama is such an inspirational character for Indonesia. Not only because this "skinny boy with funny name" made it to become the President of US against all odds, but also because he spent four years of his youth in Indonesia. This has been brought up so much by the Indonesian media, along with all the nostalgic memories about it. You see that when you become an influential person in the world, every second and every step in your past suddenly matters. And amidst all controversy and speculations whether he will or will not step his feet on Istiqlal mosque, a prayer place for muslim in Jakarta, he finally made it to visit the mosque. Akhirnya datang juga.

And there was another interesting thing in the domestic issue. The ex-president Ibu Megawati, who had never fulfilled the invitation to visit the state palace since she left the presidency in 2004, finally came to the event of dinner with Obama at the state palace on Tuesday night. Akhirnya datang juga. It took an Obama (and his charm) to melt her heart down in such a way that she was willing to make peace. No wonder, Obama has received a Noble peace prize :)

President Obama has left Indonesia today, but hopefully that 22 hours of Obama’s visit to Indonesia will bring a much longer effect than that, to improve the relationship in terms of economy and education, and bring peace to the world… or perhaps that’s too much to ask. :)

I’ll be There For You

2010-11-07T19:48:00.001-08:00

Photo credit : The Jakarta Post

I once criticized Prez SBY in this blog that he’d rather sing a song “Right here waiting” from Richard Marx than the song “I’ll be there for you” from Bon Jovi to deal with the prevalent natural disasters in Indonesia. But man, was I wrong. Apparently he was moved by my criticism so much (in my dream, lol) that yesterday our president decided to move his office to Yogyakarta, closer to the location of Merapi volcano eruption. He will stay there for undetermined time so he can closely monitor the disaster mitigation effort as a manifestation of his seriousness in dealing with the problem.

It draws mixed reactions as stated in The Indonesia Today. Some criticized that what he did was over reactive and only creates more bureaucratic hassle. Some even said that what he did is only an attempt to get sympathy from the public, as the “politik pencitraan” or “image politics” seems to be a famous term lately.

Well, I don’t agree with that criticism. Come on, Indonesia is in chaotic situation. How someone can still be alleged to try to get public sympathy or whatever accusation in this kind of situation is beyond me. Any action, especially from a country leader, to show attention to the natural disaster victims has to have an appreciation. As a matter of fact, I salute our president for being there at the front and inhale the same volcanic ash polluted air with the people. What he did can give positive psychological effect to the victims and encourage people in charge for mitigation process to work better. I know how Indonesian people work. They work better if their boss is around. It’s sad but true. So I don’t think that what SBY did is unnecessary. If needed, he can move his office to Yogyakarta, then move it to Wasior, then packing up and move it to Mentawai, and so on.

And I think what he did was far better than what his subordinates did. The members of parliament, that during this emergency situation would rather go overseas (on the nation's budget that otherwise can be used to support the disaster victims) to do the so called “comparative study”. Wonder what their agenda is in this comparative study. I would suggest that their agenda should be: "The comparative study between the actions taken by Indonesian and overseas governments in handling the victims of disasters". And take the case study of how the Chilean govt lately saved their miners who were trapped in the dark tunnel 622 meters below the surface. It would be a nice slap on their face. If they are not too sleepy, of course. :D

The Art of Making Ends Meet

2010-10-31T19:17:00.000-07:00

Photo credit : Shutterstock

It’s the end of the month. And as always, during the “injury time” like this I struggle with the effort to make ends meet. Oh yes, that has been my main job, especially since I became a house wife and had two children. This finance minister of the family has to be very wise to add to the list some important stuff I need to buy and cross out some stuff I want to buy. That is part of the art of making ends meet.

In the moment like this, I can’t help but wonder about my less fortunate fellows, people that do not have a steady source of income, or people with far below average level of income. How do they manage to make ends meet time by time? A gulali seller in front of my children’s school, a balloon seller that sometimes passes our house, how much do they earn in a day? How do they manage to survive? “Gali lubang tutup lubang” (dig a hole and cover the hole back up), that’s the Indonesian proverb to describe their effort in order to survive.

Then my mind starts to wander to the opposite direction. People with far above the average level of income, do they also experience times when they have to try to make ends meet? Or they never have any “end” at all?

But then I come to think that life must not be that unfair. People who earn more tend to need to spend more too.

Famous celebrities with high income, for example, need to spend a lot for expensive clothes, accessories, skin and hair treatment, and going to acting school or buying acting books and literature (if they care enough about their performance quality), because it's a necessity. An attractive look and performance is what the public want to see from them.

Successful businessmen need to spend a lot for attending or organizing socializing parties/gatherings, or joining golf club, because it’s necessary for them to maintain their networking for the sake of their business. And they should spend a lot for paying tax too if they are not tempted to cooperate with tax officials to manipulate the data.

High rank officials or members of parliament, to take another example, have to provide themselves cozy, comfortable cars with a driver, because if they have to take metromini (public transport) to work everyday, they will have no energy left to think about the citizens’ problem or fight for the citizens’ welfare (ahem!). And we should not forget that higher reward always comes with higher responsibility (while vice versa doesn’t always hold true :))

It’s about lifestyle. People have freedom to choose a lifestyle that they think is the best for them - and hopefully not being at the expense of others. And talking about lowering the lifestyle… man, it can be as painful as changing your color of skin. Or it can be as difficult as asking polar bears to stop growing fur because the north pole is no longer a cold place due to global warming (okay, now I am exaggerating!)

On the other hand, people who earn less need to spend less too. They can live, and still be happy, without all the luxury and complicated stuff.

Anyhow, the conclusion of my unimportant babble is that the art of making ends meet probably do not only belong to certain level of income group. The difference is that if I cross things from my shopping list like ~~buy new socks~~ or ~~buy a book~~, my less fortunate buddies will probably cross things like ~~buy rice~~ or ~~buy vegetables~~. While in the other corner someone crosses things like ~~holiday to Europe~~ or ~~dinner at Twin Tower~~. But, still, everybody has to put an effort to make ends meet sometime, somehow.

And let me finish this with beautiful lyrics from D'Masiv:

“Syukuri apa yang ada, hidup adalah anugerah

Tetap jalani hidup ini, melakukan yang terbaik”

Or if I loosely translate it in English:

“Be grateful for who you are, life is bless
Continue on living your life, do your best”

It’s All About Greed

2010-10-26T20:15:00.000-07:00

Photo credit : krizyonetimi

I am in mourn. Well, Indonesia is in mourn. This country was hit by some severe natural disasters in the past few weeks.

Flash flood in Wasior Papua that killed at least 147 people, big flood in Jakarta, the volcanic eruption of Mount Merapi in Center Java that caused at least 25 people died and forced thousands to flee down, and tsunami in Mentawai Sumatra, triggered by an earthquake, that killed at least 113 people and up to 500 others are still missing. As if that’s not enough, the country even exported the thick haze to the neighbor country Singapore due to the forest fire in Sumatra. As an Indonesian, I am sad and ashamed.

Some say that natural disaster is a punishment from God. Oh, c’mon, even a commoner like me can see that those natural disasters, other than due to the unlucky location on the so-called Pacific Ring of Fire that makes the country prone to earthquakes and volcanic activity, are also rooted from the worst and most deadly disease suffered by a big proportion of society: greed. So, if it is a punishment from God, people must have been punished from being greedy. Too bad that the collateral damage also cost life of babies and innocent ones.

It is greed that drives people to over exploit natural resources and/or take bribes to issue exploitation permits in such a manner that it results in natural disasters. The flash flood in Wasior was caused by the destruction of forests in the area by irresponsible loggers. Forest fires in Sumatra and Kalimantan were also caused by illegal logging. Even Jakarta, the capital city, is predicted to submerge because of the excessive groundwater extraction due to the greedy development of commercial entities without considering the city’s carrying capacity.

Earthquake and volcano eruption are not due to human error, but the mitigation could have been done earlier. A lot of victims could have been saved if the tsunami early warning device in Mentawai was not left broken. The dwellings on volcano slopes could’ve been prohibited, considering Merapi eruption became more frequent since 1994, if the villagers were encouraged to loose their attachment and all their mystical believes related to the mountain by giving them alternative places to earn for a living and education. This can only be done if people with authority are committed to the effort and not too greedy to make themselves rich.

Greed also explains why a relatively big proportion of citizens lives below the poverty line and some even died from hunger and malnutrition while Indonesia is rich with natural resources and has a tropical climate that allows rice, fruits and vegetables to grow all year long. It is greed that drives people to posses heaps of things (and money) beyond their need at the expense of other people’s welfare. It is greed that hinders the country’s wealth from being proportionally distributed and becomes centered only around a small proportion of society.

Fulfilling a desire by being ambitious about it is one thing, fulfilling an excessive desire by justifying any mean and crossing the ethical and criminal line is another. That’s when someone’s excessive desire a.k.a greed creates disaster to other human beings. Greed doesn’t come alone. It is usually accompanied by egoism, irresponsibility, intolerance, carelessness and arrogance.

My deep empathy for people who died, severely injured, and lost their homes and loved ones due to the natural disasters in Indonesia. If this chain of natural disasters cannot touch the heart of the greedy to lessen their greed and start to care more about the earth’s future, I don’t know what else can.

The President's Song

2010-10-18T03:19:00.000-07:00

Photo credit: ABC News

The great thing about living in my beloved country Indonesia is we never run out of amusing news on the media. Like this one I found on Jakarta Globe

“Which one of the song titles below is included on President Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono’s third album?”

That’s the controversial question in the selection exam for civil officer candidates at the Ministry of Trade on October the 12th. It’s controversial because the question will be more appropriately asked in a quiz like the “Happy Song” program at Indosiar rather than on the exam paper for a civil servant candidate.

Anyway, what annoys me is actually the fact that I have no idea about the answer for that question, neither do I know that our president has already made three albums - while considering myself as a music junkie. But whatever the answer is, I think the song included in Mr. President’s album is not one of the songs listed below:

Hero - Mariah Carey
A shoulder to cry on – Tommy Page
I’ll be there for you - Bon Jovi
I’ll stand by you – The Pretenders
Wind of change – Scorpions

And if Mr. President asked my advice (in my dream, lol) about the songs that should be in his next album, with all due respect along with my empathy for so many problems our president has to face in his second presidential term in Indonesia, I would suggest these songs for him (in a tounge-in-cheek sort of way):

Do you really want to hurt me? - Culture Club. (Regarding terrorists’ bombing threat in his private residence in Cikeas)
Please be careful with my heart - Jose Marichan. (Directed toward RMS supporters in Netherlands that made him cancel his trip to NL)
I don't have a heart (or gut? or gun?) to hurt you - James Ingram. (Dedicated to Malaysia, regarding the maritime boundary conflict between Indonesia-Malaysia)
Slow down baby, take it easy just let it flow - She. (Regarding the case of Lapindo mud)
You spin me right round baby, right round - Boy George. (Addressed to the case of Century : Bibit-Chandra vs Anggoro-Anggodo vs Susno Duadji vs Gayus Tambunan et al, etc, etc, ouch ..my head hurts :)
Right here waiting - Richard Marx. (Concerning the prevalent natural disasters in Indonesia and the prediction that Jakarta will submerge soon)
Jangan memilih aku bila kau tak sanggup setia - Anang &amp; Syahrani. (Dedicated to Petition 28, a group that calls for SBY's resignation)
Thank you so much, I am sorry, good bye - Krisdayanti. (The song to be sung when his presidential term in Indonesia is over)

Oh don't worry be happy, Mr. President (Bob Marley). You know that everybody hurts sometimes (The Corrs). :D

Religion Subject

2010-10-12T23:24:00.000-07:00

Photo credit : Kevin Spear

My children are having a mid-semester test. And as usual, last night I helped them studying. The first subject to be tested is Religion. Okay, let's see the reading materials.... What? My forehead started to frown. Most of the lessons taught to these elementary school students contain subjects that need to be painstakingly memorized and only a small proportion of it touches the moral lesson.

Wait a moment, honey, Ibu needs a little time to sit back and think. Religion is supposed to be a moral compass for human’s life. If in a religion subject students only have to blindly memorize some Arabic scripts without really comprehending the implication of the religious values in their real life it will be somewhat useless.

That probably partly explains why corruption is prevalent in Indonesia, even though the majority of its citizens have religions. Religion is never properly taught. It is only presented in a form of dogmatic theory, and lack of logical interpretation. I think what the country needs at the moment is a moral education that enables students to grasp and apply the concept of honesty, dignity and integrity.

I know that the primary responsibility to educate children lies with the parents, but it would be much helpful if teachers can create a system to make students understand, using their language of course, that bribery is immoral, corruption is a big crime, cheating is disgraceful, and most importantly, greed is harmful both to yourself and to other human beings. If they decide to take religious route, those values are all there to dig up in the holy books, whatever holy book it is that they use as a reference, if the teachers are not trapped by the rigid way of teaching religions.

Forgive me if I only have a little knowledge about Indonesian curriculum, but I think giving the young generation moral education is a good foundation to reconstruct the broken system as a whole.

All right, kids, let's continue studying. Don't push yourself too hard, though. I won’t blame you if tomorrow you get low grade in religion test. With ridiculously abundant things to memorize, who will not?

When Work and Kids Collide

2010-10-11T01:52:00.000-07:00

Photo credit : Altham

Does being a full time employee make you a part time mom? For me, the answer is: no. Here is a simple proof : when I am home I can forget about work, but when I am at work I can’t forget about my kids. I can’t stop thinking of them, checking whether they already get home and have lunch, asking if they have homework or whether there is any stuff I have to buy on the way home, etc, etc, thanks to the inventor of mobile phone :). Really, being mom is a 24/7 job. Even when you are physically not with your children, your mind keeps being in two places at the same time.

Lots of women say that they go to work to fulfill their need for self actualization. But not for me. To hell with self actualization :), I go to work for the sake of my children. In order to be able to give them health support (thanks to the company for giving us this facility), provide them good education and hopefully a decent future. In the vast uncertainty of economic and politic environment like in Indonesia, it's quite insecure to rely on only one person in the household to earn for a living.

Being a working mother, I have experienced some situations in which I was torn between work and kids, but mostly ended up with the priority of my kids prevailing.

I remember one day during hectic work hours I was called by the school driver because the school pickup van broke down on the way home. It had already been one hour away from the school dismissal time. I called my husband but he was out of area. So I rushed trough the traffic jam to the location where the driver told me. And there my daughter was, standing on the side of the street next to the broken-down car, dirty and hungry. Ohh my poor little girl.

Another day I got a phone call from the teacher because my youngest had a stomach ache during the school hour and she was crying in class. Worried if something serious happened, I had to leave the meeting I was attending and rushed to school to take my daughter home. Problem solved for that day. But the next day the same thing happened at almost the same hour. Again, I had to go to school to take her home. Sweetheart, could you possibly just miss me?

In another occasion, I was sent by the company for a two-day-workshop in Bogor and I had to miss the second day because my first daughter got high fever. Soon after the first day of the workshop was over at about 6 pm, I rushed from Bogor back to Bandung. There was a heavy rain and the trip through Cipularang highway felt like the longest trip ever in my life. I kept staring and counting at every kilometers sign on the side of the highway like a kindergarten student learning her first math. When I finally got home at about 9 pm, there my daughter was lying on the bed, calling my name. Her body temperature was high. Oh, baby, forgive me.

Another hard time I experienced was when my youngest had typhus and had to be hospitalized. I had to take five days off to accompany my five years old (then) in the hospital simply because I couldn’t leave her. I could leave her in any other situations, but not when she was lying there on the cold hospital bed. Maybe I am such a faint-hearted mother.

It is hard indeed when I have to make an option between work and kids. The guilty feeling of leaving my kids tortures me, and so does the guilty feeling of leaving work during working hours. But the thought that I do all this for the sake of my children truly is a great motivation to keep me moving and doing my best. Maybe I am not a very good employee and not a great mom either, but all I know that my love to my kids is beyond words can say.

Polygamy : a Powerful Solution?

2010-09-30T22:14:00.000-07:00

Photo credit : iStockphoto

A few weeks ago I watched the sinetron "Ketika Cinta Bertasbih" in RCTI (just once, I swear! :) ) and the story apparently touched a controversial aspect of Islam : polygamy. I know, polygamy is not forbidden according to Islam and I am aware that the Prophet (pbuh) did polygamy in his time. But do we really know what happened back then during that barbaric war-period? A lot of worse things than polygamy were considered as common practices then and polygamy became the second best option, yet still a better option. Sadly, lots of people (especially men) fail to see the contextual relevance of this matter and take it literally to justify their act in present condition.

Back to the sinetron, it kind of reminds me of the news about the opening of polygamy club in Bandung. The Global Ikhwan Polygamy Club was opened on 18 October 2009 in the Grand Aquila Hotel, with the participation of 150 guests. The theme was "Polygamy, a powerful solution to meet the love of God." (Source : Asianews)

The chairperson of the Malaysian Global Ikhwan Polygamy club, Chodijah Binti Am said: "Polygamy is a kind of panacea to win the love of God because a polygamist will always have trouble running his or her life"

It doesn’t make sense. If she knows that a polygamist will always have trouble running his life, why should they be a polygamist in the first place? If they want to get closer to God by creating their own miserable life, they can look up "the 1001 ways to make your life miserable", including giving away all their money to charity, invite some homeless fellows to stay in their house, (or invite their mother in law to stay with them. Oops, just joking :) ). It will be less controversial and more beneficial to other human beings.

Further explanation from Chodijah: "People experience the merciful love of God. When the wives are not good, they will pray to ask God's help. If a woman is married to a polygamist, the use of praying for God's help will be continuous"

Seriously, do you have to be a polygamist's wife to pray continuously? To put it in another way, is it only a polygamist's wife that can pray continuously? In more sinister way : does a polygamist even have time to pray continuously? :D

I mean, if they want to go through polygamous marriage life, that’s fine. Everybody has their own right to decide the style and shape of their own marriage, as long as nobody hurts. But they don’t have to talk nonsense to justify their act. How many helpless women and children out there will be miserable because of the justification for polygamy given by this ego-boosting club?

Underage Marriage

2010-09-22T02:06:00.000-07:00

Photo credit : The Digerati Life

I am an Indonesian hillbilly :) (if there is such thing at all). I've been living in a suburb mountain area in Bandung since 6 years ago. I love the environment of the area which is well known for its agricultural products, especially vegetables and flowers. But despite of the fresh air, clean pure water, and beautiful view I enjoy for free, there are some backward tradition held by people in this village that often gives me an ill feeling.

Underage marriage is one of them. Girls who have reached puberty are considered “ready for sale”, wrapped up in beautiful package and put in display. It’s perplexing to see that this place is actually not too far away from the heart of the city -only about two kilometers away from one of the Bandung's main roads- yet so far left behind in term of education and culture, even when ‘modernization’ (read: branded products) have touched them in almost all aspects of life through some information they get from television.

This month I had two neighbours having wedding parties of their daughters. Both of the brides just graduated from junior high school so the age is only about 15 – 17 years old. Beautiful girls, too bad that they throw away their youth so early. And so are the grooms. They are just a few years older than the brides.

Talking about the motives, people might guess that economy has something to do with it. That can be true in some other remote areas in Indonesia but not in the place where I live. No, the families are not utterly poor. They can afford a big party with three-day-and-night-performance of wayang golek (puppet show). They also manage to buy expensive mobile phones and motor bikes for their children. So economy is not the real issue here. I think it’s more to do with the culture that women are not encouraged to pursue a high education as their final destination will be… the kitchen (it has probably never occurred to them that even to be good at kitchen's works you need a proper education).

After they have their wedding, it is considered as a normal thing if the new couple then live under the same roof with their parents and still financially dependent on them. And more confusingly, their parents warmly welcome them to stay in their house and pamper them as long as they want. That’s why it’s not surprising if you see two, three or more families all live under the same roof. Don’t ask me how they organize the food sharing management in that big family because I have no idea. Don’t ask me how they manage to settle the dispute rooted from economic jealousy between the extended family members either because I don’t want to be nosy :). And it’s not surprising if the marriages are mostly ended with divorces since the couples are not mature enough to even feed themselves.

Getting married old is still considered against the norm and shameful. One of my neighbors has a daughter whose age has hit 30 and still unmarried. It’s ridiculously amusing to see how her father busily matchmaking her with every man he knows, including married man.

Gladly, this tradition is slowly abandoned by some people who are willing to open up their narrow mindedness. It's also due to more and more "new comers" coming to this place creating an assimilation in habit and culture. Our "Pak RT" (the head of neighborhood) proudly told us that his daughter is now taking a medical study in a university in Bandung and there is no way he will let her married before finishing education. Another neighbour just has her daughter graduated from the faculty of psychology in one of well known university. Glad to hear that, folks, keep up the good work.

The Governor's Idul Fitri Card

2010-09-18T18:32:00.000-07:00

Photo credit: Antara foto

I stumbled upon this news from The Jakarta Post on the internet and couldn’t help smiling. The West Java Governor apparently was accused of squandering tax payers money, creating an ironic, irritating, and amusing news all together.

"West Java Governor Ahmad Heryawan’s move to spend more than Rp 1 billion (US$111,420) from the local budget on personalized stamps and Idul Fitri cards has drawn criticism.

In one card, the governor is pictured wearing an official suit, while in the other two cards he wears Cirebon and Garut batik shirts. The personalized card also serves as a calendar for 2011. The Rp 1,500 stamps also feature the governor in three different poses.

West Java administration secretary spokesman Iip Hidajat confirmed there had been a special budget allocation for the governor’s Idul Fitri cards. “The funds used to print the cards came from the maintenance division budget, while the funding for the stamps came from protocol,” Iip said."

Well, it is squandering because nowadays sending such a big number of lebaran cards is just a waste of money (and kinda out of date), while you can take advantage from the more advanced technology using the facility of SMS and MMS on your phone, or some social networks on the internet to say “happy idul fitri” which is cheaper, faster, and more effective.

It is ironic because the governor spent more than Rp 1 billion for some inedible cards while his people were starving and suffering from the ever increasing prices of foodstuffs and continuing gas cylinder explosions. One billion rupiah is a substantial amount to help malnutritioned kids out there.

It is irritating when we see that most of roads in Bandung look like in post-war condition, causing frequent accidents, and the governor unwisely spent the maintenance budget for some cards that will eventually go to people’s trash bin.

Finally, it is amusing that the governor has done such hassle, wearing the best suits - three different suits -, putting the nicest smile, choosing the best pose, only to eventually put up with some protests and criticism from his people. What an expensive price for a picture-posing!

A Small Place I Call Home

2010-09-15T23:51:00.000-07:00

Our house is small. It only consists of six main rooms: one living room, one dining room, one kitchen, one large bedroom, one bathroom, and a warehouse as my husband runs a small business from home. That’s it.

Despite the problem we face in accommodating people when we have some guests, there are several positive things about having a small house if I look at the bright perspective of it. One good thing about it is I never have to spend a lot of time and energy to tidy up the house. When the house is messy, normally because of the two cute brats messing up, it only takes a few minutes to put everything back in its place.

Another good thing is I feel our life is more organized. When we buy a new piece of cloth, we will take one piece of old cloth to be given away if it is still good, or be dumped away if it is already worn out, because there is no extra room available in the wardrobe. When we buy a new set of plates, we take away an old set of plates from the cupboard, simply because the space of the kitchen doesn't allow us to put another cupboard. We keep the same quantity of stuff, no more than what we normally need, only constantly upgrading the quality.

Having a small house, I am also intrigued to be more creative in utilizing all the space available. Virtually no single corner is empty without me putting some furniture in it. Some rooms and furniture have to have double even triple functions to meet our requirement. Re-arranging the furniture and stuffs to make a small house comfortable is quite a challenge that I love to do during weekends.

Another positive thing, I don’t know if this is only me but the family tie feels stronger when we have a small house. That's because we often have to share the same room for our activities. I can easily control what my kids are doing without having to wander far from one room to another. We can easily bump into each other around the house, even when we don't want to talk with each other :)

Oh, one last thing. Having a small house means we don't have to search around too far when we lost stuff. This is an important issue for my husband since he always forgets to put the car key and his wallet on the right place (weirdo! :D )

On top of all that, I am always grateful for everything life has granted to me. Whether it is a small house or a big house, the only thing that matter is everything that I love is in there and I don’t have to look for happiness somewhere else.

Kids and Water

2010-09-11T23:15:00.000-07:00

What is it with kids and water? It seems to me that all kids, including my kids, love to play with water. Every promise we make about going to places with water and/or sand always sends a thrill of joy to them.

Once I browsed on the internet and found this article written by Anita Chanda in indianblogger.com about the health benefits of swimming for children. Some of the benefits listed in the article are:

Muscle strength- Resistance of water makes the muscles work hard. The hand and leg movements, while swimming, helps in building muscle mass and promotes proportional muscular development. Arms become strong.
Respiratory fitness- The lung capacity/ lung functioning improves considerably with swimming as it involves control of breathing. Initially children may catch cold, but they get used to the water as the immunity improves. As the strength of lungs improves with swimming, respiratory diseases become less.
Cardio exercise- Swimming improves the oxygen consumption which leads to better functioning of the heart.
Improves appetite- Appetite improves with swimming as it involves physical workout and leads to general overall health improvement. (This is the benefit that I love the most because my youngest is an incredible picky eater)

My kids, of course, do not know and do not care about these health benefits of swimming because all they know is that swimming and playing with water is fun, fun and oh, so fun. But then again, who wouldn’t have fun playing in the places like these? :

Pelabuhan Ratu Beach, Sukabumi

Marina Beach, Ancol, Jakarta

Setiabudi Regency Swimming Pool, Bandung

Planet Waterboom, Subang


Sari Ater Hot Spring, Ciater

TGIL : Thank God It's Lebaran

2010-09-07T21:12:00.000-07:00

Lebaran is the Indonesian term for Eid ul Fitr or Idul Fitri, which is the day when muslims celebrate the end of fasting month.

When I was a child, to me Lebaran was always associated with new clothes, fireworks, angpau from uncles and aunties, and lots of food to eat and eat till I collapsed. Through the years, while I've been getting bigger, older (yet prettier), I tried to put Eid ul Fitr in its exact meaning. Eid means “festivity”, while Fitr means “to purify”, so it basically means the day to celebrate the purification after completing the fasting month.

In addition, through things I see, learn, and experience, I put some extra meanings for Lebaran. Here what Lebaran means to me now:

Lebaran is the day of forgiveness.

If we regret the wrongdoings we've done to other fellows, Lebaran is the best occasion to ask them a sincere apology without feeling awkward. On the other way around, if someone has ever made mistakes that left us wounded, Lebaran is the best time to open up our heart to forgive, forget and move on. Keeping a hard feeling is detrimental for our soul and might do us more harm than good.

Lebaran is the day for self reflection and resolution.

Having been trying to control our emotion to avoid anger, greed and other bad desires for one month long, logically we shouldn’t have any problem prolonging that effort after Ramadhan is over. Lebaran is the best day for self reflection, contemplating about good and bad deeds we've done in our life, and make a resolution to be a better person.

Lebaran is the day for sharing.

Besides paying zakat, which is the obligation for muslim, other forms of charity can strengthen the spirit of Lebaran. I think this is supposed to be the basic purpose of companies giving away THR (Lebaran Incentives) to their employees, not only to buy themselves new clothes and meal, but to give them extra cash to share with the needy. The amount is not important, the act of spending your resources on other human beings is.

Lebaran is the day to get re-connected.

Mudik (going back to one’s hometown) is one important and notorious tradition of Lebaran in Indonesia. It’s an opportunity for people to gather with family and friends they haven't met for a long time or have only opportunity to meet once in a year. Some even use this opportunity to get re-connected with the ex or exes, hoping that there is still a chance to build a new relationship (no, not my personal experience :) ). Some people consider mudik as the most important part of Lebaran, which is worth even this kind of trip:

The manifestation of emancipation? (Source : metro.vivanews.com)

Or if you wish for something more extreme:

Not in Indonesia, though. (Source : fotounik.net)

Lebaran is the day to get away from the routine.

Lebaran (to me) is the day to turn off the phone and use it only to say “Happy Idul Fitri”. It is the day to forget all the daily routine for a while to re-charge my battery and boost the energy to be ready for the new tasks and challenges life is going to assign to me.

Having said all that, I think Indonesians are blessed to be able to preserve this tradition of Lebaran, but only if they implement the true meaning and spirit of Ramadhan and Eid ul Fitr.

Minal Aidin wal faidzin. Taqabalallahu minna wa minkum shiyamana wa siyamakum

To Give or Not to Give

2010-08-19T18:43:00.000-07:00

Photo credit : Detik Forum

It’s been ten days since the beginning of Ramadhan. One thing I notice in every Ramadhan is there are more beggars roaming at some spots that previously were beggar free. Most of them are apparently just temporary beggars who take advantage from Ramadhan when muslims are encouraged to do more good deeds, including caring for the poor and giving charity during this holy month.

Honestly, I always face a dilemma when a beggar approaches me. By giving them money, I encourage them to stay being a beggar, which sometimes is rooted from laziness. But if I don’t give them, I feel a sense of guilt as they probably are really starving and in need for food. A friend of mine told me that by giving money to a beggar I will indirectly demotivate their hard working fellows like the newspaper sellers, the street cleaners, etc, because they will see that it's easier to earn money by being a beggar. That really makes sense. But I couldn't help feeling content when beggars, especially kids, said "thank you, Ma’am" cheerfully when I gave them some notes. At least I knew that they wouldn't be starving that day. Tomorrow is just another day :)

People in Jakarta, however, apparently has to refrain themselves from giving money to beggars. The Regional Regulation (Perda) DKI Jakarta No. 8 of 2007 on Public Order, which is the revision of Perda no. 11 of 1988, mentioned that any person or entity is prohibited from providing money or goods to beggars. Those who violates the article bears the threat of imprisonment for a minimum of 10 days and a maximum of 60 days or a fine of at least 100 thousand rupiahs and not more than Rp 20 million. The reason is that beggars taint the image of the capital city, and to prevent jobless people from coming to Jakarta as the city has been too crowded.

Yeah, we got the idea. But then again, who wants to be beggars if there are other job options available? Now people are facing the risk of getting into jail from helping the needy, isn’t that ironic? If people with authority don’t like the vision of beggars roaming on the streets and hoping for a cleaner and prettier city (which I believe is the dream of all citizens as well), they should provide shelters and support for these helpless fellows to prevent them dying from hunger, and provide them alternative jobs.

Some lazy folks indeed make this begging to be a profession and work in syndication, but how can we differentiate them from people who desperately are in need for food? Say, a single mother who can't find other ways to provide for her kids when society fails to do so? If the lawmakers really feel the need to regulate the begging business by law, maybe the law should be designed to target the leaders of the beggar syndication and put them into jail instead of punishing people from being generous.

And about preventing people from coming to Jakarta, maybe they should address that problem more globally. Narrowing the wide gap and disparity of economic growth between Jakarta and other areas in Indonesia is the thing that has to be put as priority to overcome this problem.

I agree with the rule to get beggars out of the streets, but wouldn’t it be nice if there are no people begging on the streets because they don’t have to, not because they are not allowed to?

When a Pretty Duck Turns Into a Beautiful Swan

2010-08-14T01:04:00.000-07:00

Photo credit : Walt Disney Exchange

I know, there is something wrong with the title for it should be "when an ugly duck turns into a beautiful swan", but because I want to talk about my daughter and never in a second I find her ugly, I modified the title a little bit. Sorry.

Yes, my first daughter turned 9 years old. It’s amazing to see how my kid grows from time to time. The chubby cheeks disappear, the hair grows longer and thicker, the eyes are getting bigger, the skin is getting darker from too much biking and swimming under the sun…

I also notice that she starts to develop her sense of responsibility, like helping me to take care of her little sister when I am busy. She even once took her little sister's school report on behalf of the parents, simply because she forgot to give us the invitation letter from school. Another day she begged me to give her a “real task”, not an easy task like putting the toys and magazines back on the shelf after she finish playing or reading, but the real household core like doing dishes or even cooking. Hmm, maybe it's time for me to teach her using some kitchen utensils and other home appliances around the house to train her about 'survival intelligence'.

And her arguing skill….ahh, she should be a politician by now with her progressing debating skill when she protests me about something. Why....? How come...? Shouldn’t you...? Are the questions regularly popped up from her with a judging, rather than asking tone. She even lectures me that I have to be more caring and loving to my husband, her beloved Papah. Oh, okay honey, I'll take a note :). Sure Papah didn't bribe you to tell me this?

Anyway, I am now facing another phase of parenting because my baby is no longer a baby but she has metamorphosed to a little girl. From this moment on I have to try my best to not only be her mom, but put myself on the position of her elder sister and her best friend because that's what she needs right now.

Happy birthday, sweetie!

Marhaban ya Ramadhan

2010-08-10T00:22:00.001-07:00

Photo credit : Alhabib

At the moment, Muslims all around the world are welcoming Ramadhan, a month when muslims do fasting from dawn till dusk for one month long. Chastity is the most important spirit of Ramadhan. People are given an opportunity to "purify" themselves by doing as many good deeds as they can in this special month so they can celebrate their “victory” on Iedul Fitri. But are people in Indonesia really preserving the spirit of Ramadhan?

Ramadhan promotes equality between the rich and the poor. By fasting during ramadhan, the rich can experience how it feels to be starving, therefore they can build their empathy toward the poor. By paying zakat, the rich is expected to give an opportunity for the poor to eat good meal and wear good clothes at least once in a year.

Sadly, the trend going on at the moment is totally the contrary. During ramadhan people are becoming more consumptive. Places like department stores and factory outlets are full packed with people who are busy shopping for clothes, cosmetics, accessories and all stuffs to celebrate Iedul Fitri. People even buy new cars for Iedul Fitri and sell them again afterward. As a result, instead of equality, the gap between the rich and the poor is getting wider. Economic disparity becomes more evident during Ramadhan. The media somehow contributes to this trend by constantly displaying wealth and luxury through sinetrons and other programs that gives people misleading models and subconsciously drag people into consumerism.

Fasting has a purpose to enable people control their anger and emotion. People who can contain themselves from eating and drinking, which are the basic human needs, from dawn till dusk, logically can control their emotion for other things as well.

Unfortunately, just like a knife that has two sides, hunger can either lead people to be more humble and patient, or on the other hand can easily lead people to rage, depending on the ability of the people to control their emotion, which is the skill that should be developed by performing fasting. For example, in the name of religion, FPI (Front Pembela Islam) “disciplined some sinners” during the past Ramadhan months by smashing up cafes, hotels, and other places which were accused from doing dirty business. What they did truly tainted the chastity of Ramadhan. I am sure they had good intention by doing that but, hey, why don’t the law makers regulate this through constitutions and let people in charge do their job instead of letting FPI do anarchist things. Doesn't it show that they cannot handle temptations themselves?

Well, Ramadhan is supposed to be a holy month, a month when people are expected to focus in doing worship and give opportunity for people to do good deeds and proud of themselves by gaining victory in the battle with lust and desire. People in Indonesia should be lucky to have a conducive atmosphere for doing fasting. Companies and schools give tolerance by changing the working or studying time, people with other religions show tolerance by not eating and drinking right in front of our faces like what we will find if we live in secular countries. Even the tropical climate is very supportive with the sun rising and setting at relatively constant time all the year, unlike in subtropical countries where people have to have a very long fasting period during summer.

Let's welcome this Ramadhan with pure heart and mind. We’ve got to wait for one year to meet another Ramadhan…. That’s if God still gives us an opportunity.

Marhaban ya Ramadhan.

Well, You're the Boss

2010-08-03T22:14:00.000-07:00

Being a boss is one thing, being a sympathetic boss is another. Motivating people to do their jobs by employing all their capability to achieve a certain goal certainly needs a particular skill you cannot learn in just one night.

Having said that, based on my experience working with some bosses, there are things a boss shouldn't do to avoid demotivating their subordinates. Here is the list :

Don't give your subordinate a task that you yourself don't have an idea on how to do it and what the outcome will be like. (You only pass on what the big boss told you without a clear idea about the direction you're heading).
You ask your subordinate to make a time consuming analysis, only to prove that the project is not going to be feasible. (If you have no confidence about the project in the first place, so why the fuss?).
You keep reminding your subordinates about the unfinished jobs without you doing anything significant in your part to finish it. (No, Sir, your subordinates will appreciate you more if you actually take part of the work and do not depend entirely on your subordinates to do everything).
You summon your subordinates to your desk, and make it such a big deal, only to point out that they made a trivial typo on their paper. (That probably makes you feel good, but unless they make a fatal mistake like writing "shit" instead of "sheet", it's not worth it).
You come to your subordinate’s desk only to ask suspiciously “What are you currently doing?” (Sir, why don’t you just check their job desc?).
You give your subordinates a big task then ask them to take a full responsibility when the project goes in wrong direction. (Sir, it's called "hit and run")
When your subordinates use their creativity and spend a little bit more time in doing a task so that the result is better than what you requested, you say “Was there anyone asking you to do that? You’d better spend your energy to do something else” (What? That's a major turn off !)

Don’t get me wrong, though. I understand that every person has their own trait and personality I wouldn’t despise. It is only that it needs more effort to adjust my 'chemistry' to get along with this type of person at work.

And I’ve ever worked with some really great bosses too. The ones that always directly or indirectly encouraged their subordinates to do their best and gave an appreciation for every achievement they made, no matter how trivial it was. Sadly, this kind of boss is only one in so many.

Ways to Fame

2010-07-30T22:04:00.000-07:00

There are a lot of ways to Rome. There are a lot of ways to fame. This quote applies to the new internet stars Sinta and Jojo with their famous video “Keong Racun” uploaded in You Tube.

This video, which initially was not intended to gain public attention, featured these two girls lip-syncing the song of Keong Racun and have been uploaded by millions of viewers and gives ideas for some people to create various song versions of Keong Racun. This is also followed by plenty of opportunities for these cute girls that can lead them to fame and stardom.

There are some random thoughts that come into my mind in observing this matter.

Sinta and Jojo's phenomenal video proves that internet is now becoming a very powerful tool to grab people’s attention in Indonesia. The case of Prita Mulyasari or the recent case of Ariel-Luna video were some other cases proving it. Any information is now spread very fast through internet. Unfortunately, this condition hasn’t been well utilized for good purposes. So far internet has been optimally utilized mostly for things with negative purposes, like the spreading of porn videos or hatred toward certain groups, while this technology can actually be used for abundant positive things like spreading a campaign to build community awareness about particular matters.

This also shows that teenagers now like to go through a short path to be famous and rich. Sinta and Jojo may not initially intend to take this path. But their accidental success will surely gives an idea for other teenagers to follow. Look at how long the queue on the audition of Indonesian Idol, AFI, KDI or Mamamia. The profession of celebrity seems to be very promising these days. I am worried if this trend is going on, the ‘real’ professions will be less attractive to the youth as becoming celebrity is seen as a short path to get rich. Not that I mean to say that celebrity is not a real profession, but in Indonesia you can enter this sparkling and dazzling world mostly because of your appearance. Without the backup of good education, what can you expect when you’re getting older and no longer attractive?

Another thing coming into my mind is that the terms like keong racun (poisonous snail) and kucing garong (wild cat) that refer to certain kind of men and ayam kampung (domestic chicken) that refers to certain kind of girls are now becoming a trend, popularized by the lyrics of some dangdut songs in Indonesia. They add on to the old existing de-personification terms like macan ompong (toothless tiger) and buaya darat (land crocodile). It is interesting, yet the terms are a little bit degrading.

Last thing, I see that miming and imitating others is the culture here. Look at this picture of Keong Racun kw 2 (second quality).

I pissed myself laughing. =))

The Worst Case Scenario

2010-07-29T22:53:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I had lunch with a friend - a new friend - at the office canteen. She has been working for a while at the office but yesterday was the first time I had lunch with her. As usual, we talked about trivial matters while chewing and munching the boring (sigh!) meal. In the middle of our conversation, she told us a shocking story about her life experience.

Two years ago, she was a happy woman with a nice husband and a lovely 6 years old boy. This little family was also in excitement as she was expecting a new baby. One day during holiday, my friend, her husband and their son returned from a relative’s house using motorcycle. It was about 10 pm in the evening and the road was relatively quiet. When they stopped in one of the traffic lights, there was a speeding car from the opposite direction that suddenly struck the motorcycle they rode on. Her husband was hit severely by that car whose driver was apparently drunk, and her son was thrown a few meters away.

Her husband died instantly in that accident, while she and her son had to be hospitalized for a certain time period. She lost her expected baby. And on top of that, her son was taken and raised by the husband’s family who lives on different island as she was in a depression state at that moment. That accident made her lost everything she had: the husband, the son and the expected baby, just in one second.

I was speechlessly listening to the story. Never would've guessed that this young lady in front of me has gone through such a painful moment in her life. It took no less than one year for her to recover from her grief and lived the normal life again.

Having had listened to her story, I took a very deep thought. Life is so unpredictable. Most of us love to make plans in our life, plan A to Z, for our future. But we sometimes forget to include a plan for the worst case scenario. We fail to realize that there is a power beyond us that sometimes determines the outcomes out of our control, no matter how strong we are, how healthy and wealthy we are, or how certain we are about the future. It would be wise if we plan for the worst and hope for the best.

Modern societies invented tools to arrange a preparation in their life that take a form of insurance and other financial tools. But that only accounts for physical preparation. How about mental preparation? Have we been mentally prepared if one day our loved ones are taken by a powerful thing called death? Is there any insurance for shattered dreams and broken hearts?

If we realize that everything doesn’t really belong to us, whether it is the wealth, the career, the spouse, or even the children, if we realize that we’re born naked and helpless, we will probably be more ready to face any path and scenario the Almighty has chosen for us to go through in our life, including the worst case scenario.

“Naked a man comes from his mother’s womb, and as he comes, so he departs”

Sense of Achievement

2010-07-26T21:57:00.001-07:00

Beside the salary, what makes you keep going in your job? I’d put my bet that it must be the sense of achievement. Yes, feeling a sense achievement is a very powerful motivator to keep us going in every chapter of our life.

There were moments in my life when I had negative incidents that brought me down and made me feel useless. Life sucks! But then I told myself that I was not that bad, considering some achievements that I’ve had gained in my life, including completing my education, finding a decent job, or raising children and sending them to a good school. It may sound ordinary to some people, but in low moments, it‘s important to make a list of some positive things we have achieved in our life to regain our confidence.

At work, when I felt down because of some (stupid) mistakes I’ve ever made, I tried to remember some recent moments when I was proud of myself.

I was once given a task to be involved in a team to create a proposal for a new project, i.e. the opening of a branch marketing office in another country. No matter how small my contribution was in that work, now seeing that the branch office has operated and generated some revenues to the company, I am proud of it.

In another occasion, together with my three colleagues I was given a task to construct and maintain a new website for the company. My main task was regularly filling the contents for that site. That was an extra job outside my job desc, but I did it excitedly because that was something that I enjoyed. At the end, our website was nominated as the most active BUMN website for the period of June 2010. Goodio.

Another big task for me was when I was involved in the production process of a new downstream product. This product is currently sold nationwide, and advertised on TV featuring Tika Panggabean as the commercial star. I am proud that I was part of the making process. I made the pre-feasibility study for that project and I was part of the endless meetings with the consultant in analyzing the survey result, developing the package design, and producing the pilot project scale of the products. Now anytime I go to supermarket and see the products displayed on the shelf I feel a sense of achievement.

Not all of my achievements were recognized by management. Yeah, having been working in a company that has about 50.000 employees all around West Java, I think demanding the CEO to remember what you’ve achieved seems too much to ask. But that’s not important, anyway. Whether or not my work is recognized, this sense of achievement enables me to continue working and gives me more reason to wake up in the morning.

In an organization, part of the responsibility of the leaders is to set a program for their subordinates that enable them to reach an achievement. When you are a leader, it is very important to give the right task to the right person to make sure that they can achieve the goal to keep them motivated and having work enthusiasm.

Now I am facing another challenge as I am involved in a team assigned to develop a new merit system for the company. It is another hard task, but I see it optimistically. We have set the target and the goal and I can see that we’re getting into it. Wish me luck. :$

In the Battle for Energy

2010-07-15T20:27:00.000-07:00

The recent news in the media about some explosions of LPG cylinders used for household purposes is very worrisome. Some victims have died or heavily injured because of these accidents. The poor quality of cylinders and regulators was found to be the main cause.

The government policy to convert kerosene to LPG for household purposes a few years ago apparently didn’t take this risk into an in-depth consideration. The rule about standardization of the cylinder quality, the regular check for cylinder condition including regular withdrawal for the worn out cylinders, the regulation about the safe transportation and handling of cylinders from producer to consumer and vice versa, are some factors that should have been regulated firmly and thoroughly before applying this policy.

I myself have one 3-kg LPG cylinder and two 12-kg cylinders at home, one of which still contain LPG but we’re going to run out of it soon. And because of the frequent news about LPG cylinder explosion, I'm in a big confusion. Do I have to buy LPG with the risk of taking a bomb home? Or should I buy an electricity stove even if we’re facing the fact that the TDL (electricity basic fare) is gonna be increased soon? Or maybe I am just back to the traditional kerosene stove that hopefully I still keep in the warehouse at the risk of facing another problem as kerosene is now very rare? Ugh, does the government really understand and feel empathy about this energy problem faced by ordinary people like us?

Okay, now move to another problem regarding energy. With the increasing scarcity of fossil fuel, green energy now start to gain awareness. There is actually heaps of alternative energy that can be used to substitute unrenewable energy. Electricity can be derived from microhydro power and geothermal. Kerosine can be substituted by biomass and biogas from wood or waste. Gasoline can be substituted by bioethanol, and diesel can be substituted by biodiesel. Considering Indonesia is well endowed with natural resources, the source of this alternative energy should not be a problem

But even if we’re totally aware of this problem, if people individually or in groups have to make their own hydropower or biomass plant, for example, the scale will not allow the projects to be economically viable. There has to be a global policy about the application of green energy including the mechanism for its application down to the household level. As far as I know, govt put their concern on the development of geothermal plants and biofuel, by requiring gas stations to sell 1% of the fuel in the form of biofuel, and setting an obligation for industry to use biofuel as much as 2,5% of their total fuel usage. But for the rest of the alternative energy, there is no clear socialization about the plan for its application now and in the future.

And again, any application or conversion to a new technology should go through a thorough planning beforehand, including a comprehensive financial and operational risk analysis for short and long term, in order to avoid hazards like LPG cylinder explosions.

And still, while I am now about to end my rant, I can’t decide whether I am gonna buy another cylinder of LPG or maybe I’ll just chop some firewood on my backyard to do some cooking……

Questioning the Expensive Education

2010-07-13T21:10:00.000-07:00

Education in Indonesia is expensive. Each year, in the beginning of every new education year, parents have to prepare a large sums of money, especially if their children are about to enter a new school. The admission fee for elementary school, junior high school and senior high school is getting incredibly higher and unaffordable for people with average income.

The government policy to differentiate schools into various categories like SSN (National Standard School), RSBI (International Standard Pilot Project School) and SBI (International Standard School), at the end seems to put more burden to parents by having to pay high admission and tuition fee for students, especially who enter the laters. A lot of students that have a capability to enter SBIs have to turn the option down as the parents cannot afford the fee.

The competition among students consequently is getting tighter to enter these 'favourite' schools. It makes me concerned somehow to see that students now barely have time to explore their world, pursue their own dream, or do their own hobby, because their time has been sucked up by bimbel (bimbingan belajar, extra study), which means extra (big) cash has to be spent by the parents, only to get some ‘tricky methods’ in solving the problems during exam.

For parents whose children are entering university, the burden is much heavier. They have to spend tens even hundreds million rupiah to enter a university. This is happening particularly after the government changed the status of PTNs (Perguruan Tinggi Negeri, State Universities) became BHMNs (Badan Hukum Milik Pemerintah, State Owned Legal Institutions) – or the privatization of universities – in 1999. That means government cuts the subsidy and the universities have to earn their own money, or put it in softer words, the universities have an authority to manage their own finance.

From my point of view, this is an unreasonable thing to do. Isn’t providing good education supposed to be the responsibility of government, because the good quality of future generation is a benefit for the country as a whole?

With this new system, universities are free to charge any amount of admission fee to the students and they do this by organizing ‘special channel’ for students to enter university, other than the regular entrance scheme SPMB (New Student Intake Selection). This ‘special channel’ of entering university is much more expensive than the regular fee, which is already unaffordable for people with average income.

It’s amazing to read that to enter a favourite or most wanted department like medical department, students have to pay as much as Rp 200 until 300 million! Compare that to the regional minimum wages that only amount to Rp 0,5 until 1,3 million per month, depends on the province. Consequently, education at present is only for the well-off, not for the poor who only have brain and potentiality.

So, what is happening here, Indonesia? Why does education now become a kind of commodity instead of citizen’s right? How this commercialized education (and in some cases involving bribery to enter favourite schools) can guarantee a good character building for future generations? I won’t hold my breath for the answer, but I hope some reasonable people with authority will make a change to this system.

Tough Questions, Dumb Answers

2010-07-11T17:34:00.000-07:00

What is the toughest question you’ve ever received from your kids? Well, there are moments when I can’t help smiling, followed by taking a deep thought choosing words to satisfy my kids' curiousity and at the same time try not to mislead them to a wrong perception as I understand that during these golden ages (they're 8 and 6 yo), any information they receive will likely to be kept strong in their memory. These are some of their tough questions and my (slightly dumb) answers:

“Bu, is that true that God has no friends? Poor Him, He must be very lonely….”
(He isn’t lonely because He doesn’t need a friend, darling. Even people that do not have friends can be not lonely. Lonely is the matter of feeling. Someone can be lonely in the middle of a crowd and someone can be so content in the middle of solitude)

“Bu, how old can I have a boyfriend?”
(Errh... can you wait till you have a job? You would make me very happy if you could hold that long. Make sure that you let me know if that happens earlier than what I expected)

“Please tell me, how do people make a baby? If two people kiss, can they make a baby?”
(Not the kissing, cutie, it is what happens following the kissing, when Mr XY in a man's body decides to visit Miss XX in a woman's body by inserting Mr. P into Miss. V. Got the picture? Okay let’s turn on the TV, your favourite cartoon movie is about to begin)

“What can I do when my friend keeps asking me to give her the answers during exam, and she threatens me that if I don’t help her she won’t be my friend anymore, and she will report that to her friend whose mother is an army officer”
(Punch her on the face and tell her to leave you alone… errh.. I mean, tell her firmly that you can’t help her because cheating is disgraceful and if she keeps that habit she will get herself in trouble sooner rather than later)

Well, if they ask questions about science or some other exact subjects I can easily pull an encyclopedia off the shelf or browse for the answer on the internet. But for the ‘abstract’ subject like ones above (a question about baby is actually very scientific, but somehow I feel that there is an abstract element about it too), I often have to put an extra effort to answer. But still, they are not satisfied with my answers and bombing me with more and more questions instead. Arrgh... things were much easier when they were babies and all I had to do was feeding them and singing them lullaby. Maybe I need to learn more about being a mother.

And this is one of the questions that keep lingering in my ears:

My youngest girl pointing at our wedding album, “Bu, are those your wedding pictures? None of my picture is there. Why didn’t you and Papah take me to the party?”

(By that time we were still planning to make you, sweetheart :k).